IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The map below show the changes that occurred to a town named Willington in 1780, 1860 and 2000.

The map below show the changes that occurred to a town named Willington in 1780, 1860 and 2000.
#show #changes #town #willington
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The presented maps depict the
functuations
Correct your spelling
functions
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
 in a
town
Use synonyms
 called Willington from 1780 to 2000. 
Overall
Linking Words
, there
can be seen
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 some transportation changes in the 60 years from 1780 to 1860,
whereas
Linking Words
 other functions of the city were not altered so much.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
town
Use synonyms
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changes
Replace the word
changed
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some functions for civilians to live in the
town
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the number of residences or schools. In 1860, people built a bridge over the river and a road going to the river
newly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, so that it seemed they attained the ways to transport
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 the
villlage
Correct your spelling
village
 easily. The first stage for the
town
Use synonyms
 to be civilized was the change of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation. 
Moreover
Linking Words
, as time passed by, the changes were shifted to buildings.
For example
Linking Words
, the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
residences built in the village is 500 homes in 2000, which is 5 times
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the figure in 1780.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they set
a
Change preposition
up a
show examples
few schools with sports grounds, which were,
not to mention
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
 a street to get the schooling district from the home area.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it can be said that the second step for the
town
Use synonyms
 to be civilized was the change of the
faclties
Correct your spelling
facilities
faculties
such
Linking Words
 as the homes and schools.
Submitted by yuritnaka1217 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, such".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words town with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • town
  • changes
  • occurred
  • 1780
  • 1860
  • 2000
  • map
  • show
  • named
  • Willington
  • introduction
  • overview
  • comparison
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: