Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Globalization has changed the community's behaviour. Some societies have been becoming more and more similar
due to
nations' convenience to similar goods everywhere.
While
there are irrefutable disadvantages to
this
trend which causes much damage. I personally hold the view that the advantages of
this
notion outweigh
due to
better accessibility for all walks of life and more job opportunities.
To begin
with, globalisation imposes irrefutable benefits. First of all, it has brought magnificent accessibility for people all around the world.
In other words
, nations can find every product that need in their hometown which makes life easier for them, in comparison with the past when they bought some specific products and had to travel around the world or wait too much time in order to receive their goods.
Hence
, globalisation gives them
this
opportunity to implement branches from famous companies in their town.
As a result
, the trend line of job opportunities will face growth.
For example
, apple stores that are available in all countries are one of them that has provided numerous jobs. The disadvantages,
however
, cannot be overlooked. Similarity has eliminated many local industries because people are not enthusiastic about their products when they have access to high-quality goods from famous companies.
In addition
, to the fragment of local jobs, folks lost their own identity as well because of the impact of
this
trend. To clarify, when people use the same products they become more and more like each other which causes the elimination of many cultures.
However
, these reasons are not logical to refute the unparalleled benefits of
this
fact. In conclusion, societies have become more like each other and nations can buy similar stuff everywhere.
Although
, there are some undeniable disadvantages I vote for the advantages because of better accessibility and they have more job opportunities.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You need to focus more on addressing the prompt and providing a clear argument. Make sure your ideas are relevant to the topic and avoid going off-topic.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay has a logical structure and the main points are supported. However, work on improving the organization of your paragraphs and ensure a smooth transition between ideas.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally good, but try to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors throughout your essay. Review grammar rules and proofread your writing to ensure accuracy.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: