IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people feel that public money should not be spent on cultural amenities such as museums, theatres and art festivals. How important do you think these things are to society as a whole? Are there any areas which are more important for the government to fund?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today, the
government
Use synonyms
 is obliged to set a budget for businesses, cultural
activities
Use synonyms
 and social amenities.
According to
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
, there is no need for
government
Use synonyms
 funds to be spent on cultural conveniences
such
Linking Words
 as theatres, museums or art festivals.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss whether cultural
services
Use synonyms
 have a social value in general or whether there are better options for the public purse to be spent.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one important thing is that the identity of a
society
Use synonyms
 is derived from its culture, so by neglecting and forgetting cultural
activities
Use synonyms
, there is no special value left for that
society
Use synonyms
 and there are no honourable characteristics that the whole World knows about that
society
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Iranian historical monuments show how rich their history is. Admittedly, many young
people
Use synonyms
 are interested in cultural and artistic
activities
Use synonyms
. If the cultural amenities are ignored, the enthusiasts' creativity and talent will be lost, including beautiful and impressive art theatres. Arguably, every
government
Use synonyms
 has a set of priorities for handling and disbursing public money. Taking care of
services
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as health and security
services
Use synonyms
 and education to ensure the welfare of
society
Use synonyms
 causes the stability and strength of that place, so it seems quite normal that the
government
Use synonyms
 prefers to spend the majority of its national budget on these parts.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is not enough to take care of the basic welfare needs of humans. In the next options, what can be highlighted for the mental health of a
society
Use synonyms
 is to deal with recreational
activities
Use synonyms
. Sports achievements, artistic and cultural
services
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as cinema and theatres, and scientific advances are among the works that cause interest and entertainment for
people
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are priorities for spending public money, which cannot be ignored under any circumstances, but it is important to consider the cultural and artistic sectors because
while
Linking Words
 it represent the history of there, it causes entertainment and interests for some
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific main point and provides supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Use clear transitional words and phrases to connect ideas and enhance the coherence of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a variety of synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and academic phrases appropriately.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure correct usage of grammar, including subject-verb agreement, verb tense, and sentence formation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: