Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter have become an integral part of our lives, especially for young people.
While
some argue that these platforms
have a detrimental effect on their ability to form personal relationships, others believe that they bring the public together in a positive way. This
article explores both perspectives and offers my opinion on the matter.
On one hand, individuals who think social media has a negative impact on young people's ability to form personal communication believe that spending excessive time on these platforms
may lead to reduced face-to-face interactions. In other words
, society might be more engrossed in their virtual lives, leading to loneliness and isolation in the real world. A study conducted by psychologists found that participants who limited their social networking use to thirty minutes per day experienced significant reductions in loneliness and depression. Hence
, social sites have adverse effects on personal bondings.
On the other hand
, there are those who argue that social networking brings people together in a beneficial way and hold the opinion that these sites can help individuals maintain connections
with friends and family members who live far away. They also
serve as platforms
for networking, allowing the public to meet and collaborate with like-minded individuals or professionals with shared interests. This
can lead to personal and professional growth that may not have been possible otherwise
. Moreover
, online support groups for mental health issues or specific hobbies can be a source of comfort and understanding for young nations. Thus
, these connections
might not have been possible without the reach and accessibility of social media.
In conclusion, having engaged in the subject, while
excessive use of these platforms
can indeed harm face-to-face connections
and lead to feelings of isolation, they also
offer opportunities for maintaining communication and forging new, meaningful connections
. Therefore
, in my opinion, when used mindfully, social media can complement personal relationships rather than hinder them, enhancing our ability to connect with others in a beneficial way.Submitted by THE TEACHING DESK on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next with appropriate use of discourse markers. This will help strengthen the argument and provide clearer progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, greater attention to a unique summarizing statement in the conclusion would make your position more memorable.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more detailed examples and explanations to thoroughly convince the reader of their validity.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay comprehensively responds to all parts of the task. This includes discussing both views and giving your opinion, which you have done adequately.
task achievement
To convey clearer and more comprehensive ideas, focus on fully fleshing out your arguments with specific evidence and expanding your analysis.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments, which will also show a more thorough understanding of the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.