IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Most people agree that pupils should only learn academic subject in school.However, others approach that pupils should also learn how to identify between correct and mistaken.This essay will consider both sides of the discussion.

On the one hand, those who support
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should only teach academic
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
promote
Add the particle
to promote
show examples
 the idea that teachers should only concentrate on academic topics.By
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 we mean that teaching staff should improve
youth’s
Change noun form
youth
show examples
 studies.
For example
Linking Words
, teaching staff should help youths to increase their academic
subject
Use synonyms
 which appears to have a number of high educational in the future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, proponents have an opinion because each
families
Change to a singular noun
family
show examples
 have distinct
disciplines
Fix the agreement mistake
discipline
show examples
 and they raise their
children
Use synonyms
may be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
different
Change the word
differently
show examples
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
another household
Fix the agreement mistake
other households
show examples
,
school
Use synonyms
 should not interfere
expect
Verb problem
except by
show examples
 teaching academic
subject
Use synonyms
.
Example
Add an article
An example
The example
show examples
 can be seen in if teaching staff intromit in the raising adolescence,
this
Linking Words
 will disturb parents training.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 opponents of
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should only teach academic
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 claim that because youngsters spend
considerably
Change the adverb
considerable
show examples
 time in
school
Use synonyms
 youngsters should identify between correct and mistaken.
This
Linking Words
 leads to
children
Use synonyms
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
 in all aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their life.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 if
children
Use synonyms
 want to immigrate without their parents they should evaluate the situation right
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 wrong.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another responsibility of
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 is
about working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
 on
youths
Change noun form
youths'
youth's
show examples
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 means
school
Use synonyms
 has a significant role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 coaching
children
Use synonyms
.Because
school
Use synonyms
 can effect on youngsters.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 is a place
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 considerably learning in it and because of
this
Linking Words
 teachers should teach
adolescence
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
obviously
Rephrase
apply
show examples
right
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 wrong. In conclusion, I would tend to side with the opponents of
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should
also
Linking Words
 teach immaturity
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
 to distinguish correct between
mistaken
Correct word choice
and mistaken
show examples
.It seems to be crucial for immaturity’s future.It would
e
Correct your spelling
be
 more unreasonable to think
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should just teach academic
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 because it’s just a
pieace
Correct your spelling
piece
 of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 that
children
Use synonyms
 should learn in
school
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and presents a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the overall organization of the essay by providing a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and use more precise and appropriate words.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and grammar to ensure accuracy and clarity.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: