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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum
In the modern world, the percentage of
people
 who are overweight is increasing ,and
this
 is a big problem for the physical health system. Many
people
 suggest that the best way to solve
this
 issue is for
students
 should study healthcare subjects in the school curriculum. I surely agree that children should learn about physical in school. So,
this
 essay will write about the benefits of learning physical education and will give reasons.
To begin
 with, the several reasons why
people
 should study physical lessons. First of all,
students
 do not have time to work out at their home, but if they have physical classes, they will exercise.
Secondly
, the physical lesson is not about exercise only ,but
this
 lesson will teach
students
 about
food
 so,
students
 will know about the
food
 like what
food
 is good for their bodies.
For instance
, the survey found that in many schools which teach
students
 about physical activities, 90 per cent of
students
 will have good health.
Thus
, I believe that schools should have physical lessons in the class
due to
students
 will have knowledge about physical
such
 as
food
 and health, and they will think that the overweight is very harmful to them. Another point of view, someone thinks
that is
 not enough to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lesson about physicals in schools because some do not study so, they recommend that government should support
people
such
 as free fitness for working out, and advertise healthy
food
 on the Internet or on Television.
To sum up
, I think that learning physical education is a great way to help
this
 problem ,but the government should support us too.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt and provide a clear position.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically organized and each paragraph has a clear focus.
lexical resource
Work on expanding your vocabulary and using more varied and precise language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and use a wider range of grammar constructions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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