Some people think that best way to reduce crime is to sentence long term prison.However,others think that there are alternative way to reduce crime describe both view points discuss your opinion.

Criminals have long existed as a pressing issue in every society. Long confinement sentences can stop people from doing bad things. If someone knows they will stay in jail for many years, they may not want to commit a crime.
While
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some believe that imposing long-term prison sentences is the most effective way to reduce criminals, others argue that alternative approaches
such
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as education and social reform are more effective. Prolonging the term of prisoners does not reduce corruption because
this
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only deters pre-criminal behaviours. In human society, gangsters always exist everywhere and the reduction of criminal quantity should be based on the root causes.
Firstly
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, poverty could lead to misconduct indirectly when the basic needs are food and shelter. People who committed evil thought that their actions would help them at that moment. They are fighting for food and safety regardless
this
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could lead them to jail. In fact, the rate of corruption is consistently increasing in spite of law development. State role has never ever been more important at the moment. Programmes that promote community in order to reduce the lack of food, provide safe places, upgrade basic income, and spread out schooling.
Secondly
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, the educational system can be another way to reduce felonies
instead
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. The man who committed the lawlessness was not scared of going to jail for how long. If he knew the importance of the freedom and meaning of life, he could stay away from the guilty and find a better solution.
Instead
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of sentencing long-term prison, the government would better apply the educational program
besides
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the punishment. The one who undergoes the study after the punishment can be better. In countries like Norway, where rehabilitation and education are emphasized, crime rates have decreased significantly. In conclusion,
although
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sentencing criminals to long-term prison can be effective in some cases, it is not the only or best solution. A balanced approach that includes education, social support, and rehabilitation is more likely to decrease the amount of cases in the long run.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to the main topic. Each main point should be directly related to reducing crime.
task response
Rewrite your introduction to clearly state both views on crime reduction before presenting your opinion.
task response
Add more specific examples, perhaps using statistics or facts, to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You provided a good discussion of alternative solutions to crime reduction, showing a thoughtful approach to the topic.
task achievement
Your examples from Norway were relevant and helped support your point about education and rehabilitation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • crime
  • prison
  • sentence
  • idea
  • support
  • believe
  • punishment
  • deterrent
  • community
  • poverty
  • education
  • mental health
  • support
  • program
  • repay
  • society
  • integration
  • offender
  • safety
  • dangerous
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