IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You and your colleague want to use a company room. Write a letter to your manager and ask for permission. In your letter, you should: explain why you need the room describe which room you need and why tell what changes you’ll need in the room

#colleague #company #room #manager #permission #changes #you’ll
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Dear Idris, I hope you are well. I am writing to request permission for my colleague and me to use one of the company rooms for staff break times. A designated break area would provide significant benefits to employee well-being by offering a space to unwind, which could help alleviate stress and improve
overall
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 morale.
This
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, in turn, could lead to greater productivity and job satisfaction. After considering the available options, I believe that Room 306 would be the most suitable choice. It is quiet, spacious, and centrally located, making it easily accessible for staff during break times.
This
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 room aligns with the company’s commitment to promoting a healthy work-life balance. To make the space more suitable for breaks, I would suggest a few modifications. These include adding comfortable seating
such
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 as chairs or couches,
as well as
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 a small table for snacks or drinks.
Additionally
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, a microwave or mini-fridge could be installed for staff convenience, allowing them to store or heat their meals. A few plants or pieces of artwork would
also
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 create a more relaxing and inviting atmosphere. Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Best regards, Mubarak Isa
Submitted by henikeassociates on

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task response
Consider providing a bit more detail about the specific use of the room during break times to enhance task response.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain the clear structure and flow of information as it contributes to easy understanding.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task response
The writing tone is polite and appropriate for a letter to a manager, demonstrating suitable writing tone.
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