Today, many people don not know their neighbours in large cities.

Accompanied by a fast-paced life when leading an urban lifestyle, urban dwellers do not have time to make contact with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
This
situation stems from hurry sickness in
this
modern age. Still, it can be mitigated by the construction of recreational facilities and incentive schemes to encourage
people
to get rid of sedentary lifestyles implemented by the
government
. It must be acknowledged that to fit in with the cost of settling down in a residential area, citizens have to work a nine-to-five job to make a demanding profit spent on daily expenditures.
In other words
, when those who face the financial burden and job dissatisfaction living in a crowded city, they tend to spend their precious time on family meetings or dopamine-rush activities to seek amusement and reenergize rather than socialize with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
Moreover
, because of the high incidence of crime when living in bustling areas,
people
want to create a physical barrier to protect themselves from strangers in order not to become a victim of a crime offender.
Thus
, the tendency to isolate from social relationships like
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
become popular nowadays. To alleviate the situation of
people
not knowing their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
, the
government
should attribute their investment to constructing recreational facilities in order to encourage
people
to get rid of a private lifestyle. In more detail, with these advancements,
people
can strengthen their bonds with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
by asking them to hang out or go for a bike ride. Take Ho Chi Minh City as a prime example. The
government
turns grey space with concrete buildings into green places with sports facilities to persuade dwellers to make a relationship with each other. The result is more than successful when it directly bonds reliability and trustworthiness between citizens through outside activities.
Moreover
, to support those who lack a sense of community, the authority can implement a scheme to gather
people
in local areas to engage in same-minded groups.
Consequently
,
this
initiative will not only help them to get out of their comfort zone and become a part of the same interest community but
also
build up stronger bonds among those who get used to their alone lifestyle. The Japanese
government
has taken
this
necessary action to encourage teenagers to take part in social activities, which optimistically alleviates the situation of depressed young
people
who feel alienated in
this
country. In conclusion, the pervasive trouble of
people
not making contact with their next-door family
due to
the bustling life can be tackled by the
government
's contribution to providing a gathering place for these
people
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt adequately and provided a comprehensive response. However, make sure to strengthen your arguments with more specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure and your ideas are well organized. Just remember to further improve coherence by using appropriate linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is commendable, with a few minor improvements needed. Aim to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is satisfactory, but there are some errors in sentence formation and verb tense consistency. Be cautious with subject-verb agreement and practice using different sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: