Today, many people don not know their neighbours in large cities.

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Accompanied by a fast-paced life when leading an urban lifestyle, urban dwellers do not have time to make contact with their
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neighbors
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neighbours
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.
This
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situation stems from hurry sickness in
this
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modern age. Still, it can be mitigated by the construction of recreational facilities and incentive schemes to encourage
people
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to get rid of sedentary lifestyles implemented by the
government
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. It must be acknowledged that to fit in with the cost of settling down in a residential area, citizens have to work a nine-to-five job to make a demanding profit spent on daily expenditures.
In other words
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, when those who face the financial burden and job dissatisfaction living in a crowded city, they tend to spend their precious time on family meetings or dopamine-rush activities to seek amusement and reenergize rather than socialize with
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neighbors
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neighbours
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.
Moreover
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, because of the high incidence of crime when living in bustling areas,
people
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want to create a physical barrier to protect themselves from strangers in order not to become a victim of a crime offender.
Thus
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, the tendency to isolate from social relationships like
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neighbors
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neighbours
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become popular nowadays. To alleviate the situation of
people
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not knowing their
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neighbors
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neighbours
show examples
, the
government
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should attribute their investment to constructing recreational facilities in order to encourage
people
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to get rid of a private lifestyle. In more detail, with these advancements,
people
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can strengthen their bonds with
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neighbors
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neighbours
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by asking them to hang out or go for a bike ride. Take Ho Chi Minh City as a prime example. The
government
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turns grey space with concrete buildings into green places with sports facilities to persuade dwellers to make a relationship with each other. The result is more than successful when it directly bonds reliability and trustworthiness between citizens through outside activities.
Moreover
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, to support those who lack a sense of community, the authority can implement a scheme to gather
people
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in local areas to engage in same-minded groups.
Consequently
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,
this
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initiative will not only help them to get out of their comfort zone and become a part of the same interest community but
also
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build up stronger bonds among those who get used to their alone lifestyle. The Japanese
government
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has taken
this
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necessary action to encourage teenagers to take part in social activities, which optimistically alleviates the situation of depressed young
people
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who feel alienated in
this
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country. In conclusion, the pervasive trouble of
people
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not making contact with their next-door family
due to
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the bustling life can be tackled by the
government
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's contribution to providing a gathering place for these
people
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.
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure and your ideas are well organized. Just remember to further improve coherence by using appropriate linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is commendable, with a few minor improvements needed. Aim to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is satisfactory, but there are some errors in sentence formation and verb tense consistency. Be cautious with subject-verb agreement and practice using different sentence structures.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
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