Some people say showing program such as Olympics, cricket on television is the best way to encourage adults to do exercise. Some say that there are some other ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously discussed among various individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is
exercise
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. There are even observers who believe that audiences can cultivate self-active by exercising by watching
sports
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events on
TV
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while
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others argue there should be alternative ways to reach it, in the succeeding paragraphs, I am going to discuss both points of view and provide my perspective
further
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.
Firstly
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, Watching
sports
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events can increase
people
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's motivation to
exercise
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. It is a common fact that exciting competitions can arouse emotional interaction and attract
people
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to participate. To illustrate, NBA pro basketball games tempted thousands and thousands of
people
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to watch and join
this
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sport, the audience follows competitions through
TV
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, YouTube, or some social media, watching pro athletes using stunning skills to pass their competitors and shots, which are pretty inspiring moment, and
also
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provoke our passion to play
this
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sport, thereby, motivate us to do
exercise
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due to
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most skill that pro athlete show must have a good physical condition to achieve it.
On the other hand
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, some experts advocate that
people
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can self-awareness to
exercise
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without watching televised
sports
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to tempt them. The reason is that the government can through social media spread information about the benefits of
sports
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by inviting nutritionists to explain.
For instance
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,
exercise
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can help us to get away from diseases,
such
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as cardiac problems, autism, obesity, respiratory illnesses etc,
as well as
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, building a healthy lifestyle in the routine. In conclusion, my personal opinion is that
TV
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sports
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programs can attract and stimulate
people
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's hobbies and help them to keep their passion for fitness.
However
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one should bear in mind that the governor
also
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can rely on social media to share the advantages of doing
exercise
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, not just playing
sports
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events on
TV
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.
Submitted by rosolook on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay presents a logical structure, it would benefit from clearer paragraphing and more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction clearly outlines the points that will be discussed, and ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes your argument without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with specific details or examples to strengthen your argument. Where possible, include facts, statistics, or real-life instances to demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure complete task achievement by addressing all parts of the prompt. Discuss both views equally and provide a clear, well-supported opinion.
task achievement
Continue to express ideas clearly and comprehensively, but work on refining your ideas for greater clarity and impact. Aim to present each point concisely and effectively.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples is good. However, aim to link these examples more explicitly to the argument you are making in each paragraph to show how they support your viewpoint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Televised sports
  • Fitness levels
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Community fitness programs
  • Infrastructure
  • Workplace wellness
  • Fitness apps
  • Wearable tech
  • Peer pressure
  • Group activities
  • Health campaigns
  • Educational programs
  • Multifaceted approach
  • Emulation
  • Motivation
  • Awareness
  • Admiration
  • Passive watching
  • Active participation
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