Some people say showing program such as Olympics, cricket on television is the best way to encourage adults to do exercise. Some say that there are some other ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously discussed among various individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is
exercise
. There are even observers who believe that audiences can cultivate self-active by exercising by watching sports
events on TV
while
others argue there should be alternative ways to reach it, in the succeeding paragraphs, I am going to discuss both points of view and provide my perspective further
.
Firstly
, Watching sports
events can increase people
's motivation to exercise
. It is a common fact that exciting competitions can arouse emotional interaction and attract people
to participate. To illustrate, NBA pro basketball games tempted thousands and thousands of people
to watch and join this
sport, the audience follows competitions through TV
, YouTube, or some social media, watching pro athletes using stunning skills to pass their competitors and shots, which are pretty inspiring moment, and also
provoke our passion to play this
sport, thereby, motivate us to do exercise
due to
most skill that pro athlete show must have a good physical condition to achieve it.
On the other hand
, some experts advocate that people
can self-awareness to exercise
without watching televised sports
to tempt them. The reason is that the government can through social media spread information about the benefits of sports
by inviting nutritionists to explain. For instance
, exercise
can help us to get away from diseases, such
as cardiac problems, autism, obesity, respiratory illnesses etc, as well as
, building a healthy lifestyle in the routine.
In conclusion, my personal opinion is that TV
sports
programs can attract and stimulate people
's hobbies and help them to keep their passion for fitness. However
one should bear in mind that the governor also
can rely on social media to share the advantages of doing exercise
, not just playing sports
events on TV
.Submitted by rosolook on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
While the essay presents a logical structure, it would benefit from clearer paragraphing and more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction clearly outlines the points that will be discussed, and ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes your argument without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with specific details or examples to strengthen your argument. Where possible, include facts, statistics, or real-life instances to demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure complete task achievement by addressing all parts of the prompt. Discuss both views equally and provide a clear, well-supported opinion.
task achievement
Continue to express ideas clearly and comprehensively, but work on refining your ideas for greater clarity and impact. Aim to present each point concisely and effectively.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples is good. However, aim to link these examples more explicitly to the argument you are making in each paragraph to show how they support your viewpoint.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.