Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree?

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Having a veggie foodstuff lifestyle is a controversial debate subject, with advocating for non-veg as an optimal
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. A number of people believe that humanity does not ought to eat
meat
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in meals
for being
Change preposition
to be

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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healthy. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, having only
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

type of
consuming
Replace the word
consumption

The word consuming doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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might not be a sensible option for everyone because of the variety of traditions. Put simply, there are a plethora of traditions or beliefs in the world
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

taking the number of countries into account.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is a Sacrifice Day in Islam religion that has been celebrated for 1400 years, and sacrificing
sheeps
Correct your spelling
sheep

It appears that the noun sheeps is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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or cows to give charity is a well-known phenomenon all over the world.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, being a vegetarian is a hardship for Muslims, which is a must to acknowledge the situation.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, dishes that consist of only vegetables can not be a great source to equalize your carbohydrate and protein balance. What is more, people whose vocation is fitness need to have more than five thousand calories per day, admittedly, these types of foods can not supply them.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if you need to have
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

thousand calories, you should eat
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

kilogram of cucumbers or just
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

hundred grams of
meat
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
albeit
Change preposition
despite

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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concerns about eating
meat
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for a healthy diet, the benefits of
meat
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are substantial than we expect, which
outstrip
Correct subject-verb agreement
outstrips

It seems that the verb outstrip does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the drawbacks that are about being healthy. In actuality, everyone can mix vegetables and
meat
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to vanish ailments about health to be unanimous in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation.

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Task Response
The essay partially addresses the prompt, providing arguments against the statement. However, it lacks a clear thesis statement and could benefit from a stronger focus on the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and the ideas are generally connected. However, the introduction and conclusion could be improved to provide a stronger overall framework for the essay.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary and there are some attempts at using more complex language. However, there are also instances of repetitive or unclear word choices that could be improved.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows a reasonable range of grammatical structures and there are no major errors that hinder comprehension. However, there are some minor errors and occasional awkward phrasing that could be addressed.
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