IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings, as compared to a horizontal city with fewer tall buildings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a debate over which type of city is the best for living and working, with some saying that metropolises with high constructions are better and others arguing that ordinary cities without tall skyscrapers are more optimal for living. In my opinion,
while
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 standard flats and houses have some benefits, tall
buildings
Use synonyms
 can offer more space and benefit the economy as a whole. On the one hand, horizontal cities can offer a wide range of benefits ranging from cultural preservation to less pollution. Since the
buildings
Use synonyms
 and towers will be shorter, there will be less air, noise and light pollution.
For instance
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, in countries
such
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 as Oman and Saudi Arabia politicians are trying to preserve their cultural values and traditions by keeping their historical monuments,
while
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 their neighbours are building and renovating cities.
Thus
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, it may be vital for some countries and urban centres to keep all
buildings
Use synonyms
 untouched, in order to prevent climatic change and keep them unique.
On the other hand
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, vertical constructions can have a more practical approach, as they can offer more space and can greatly benefit the economy of the country. Millions of tourists are attracted to metropolises because of skyscrapers and their features
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
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.
For example
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, the UAE is one of the most visited countries with over 30 million tourists on an annual basis, with artificial land for taller
buildings
Use synonyms
, which provides to stable and strong source of income for the economy
as a result
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. In conclusion,
while
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 horizontal farms definitely have some benefits, in my opinion, vertical farms are more practical in modern frameworks of society.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a clearer distinction between the advantages of each city type in your main points to enhance clarity. Additionally, linking the ideas between paragraphs can improve overall flow.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are fully explained and relevant to your points made. More specific context or details would make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and present a balanced view of both city types.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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