IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It can be seen that
education
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 is very important for many
people
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 ,and many
people
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 think that the
government
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 should
support
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 the
education
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 system
such
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 as the
government
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 should
support
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education
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 fees for students. I surely agree that the
government
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 should pay for the
education
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 system and
education
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 fees so,
this
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 essay will discuss
this
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 statement and will give reasons.
To begin
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 with, the benefit of pay budget to
education
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 systems. First of all, paying money to run universities means developing human lives
due to
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 good knowledge that can improve human lives.
Secondly
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, the
government
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 should have free study for students because humans need to have a good
education
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,and
education
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 is the basic standard for everyone.
For instance
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, in many developed countries like Finland, they give free tuition fees for children in their nations because they believe that if children have good
education
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 and knowledge, their nation will develop.
Therefore
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, I surely agree that the
government
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 should take care of
people
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's
education
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 ,and give them funds to study.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 think that students should spend money on their school ,and the
government
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 should
support
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 others like healthcare and technology. But I think that
education
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 is the basic standard of other systems.
For example
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, if children have a good
education
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, they will help the country develop like they will be good doctors.
To sum up
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, I think that
education
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 is very valuable for
people
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 so, the
government
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 should
support
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education
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 and if their countries have
Add an article
a
show examples
good
education
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, their countries will develop.

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, but you should try to craft your sentences more cohesively. Create a logical flow of ideas and maintain it throughout the essay. Try not to repeat the same phrases.
task achievement
You seem to understand the task well and provide clear and comprehensive ideas. However, try to dig deeper into the subject, clarify your arguments, and make sure you've completely addressed the question.
lexical resource
Try to broaden your vocabulary. The same phrases are repeated quite often ('the government should support', 'good education'). Try to use synonyms or paraphrase. This way, your language will become richer and your position clearer.
grammatical range
The grammatical structures you've used are not diverse enough. Try to apply a wider range of conditional, comparative and complex sentences. Additionally, ensure each sentence is well-structured and free of grammarly mistakes.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government funding
  • equitable education system
  • social mobility
  • talented individuals
  • higher education
  • prioritize
  • sustainable
  • alternative sources of funding
  • partnerships with businesses
What to do next:
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