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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table and pie chart give information about population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas.

The table and pie chart give information about population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas.
#information #population #australia #nationalities #areas
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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of inhabitants of different nationalities residing in Australia,
whereas
Linking Words
 the table shows demographical figures which are classified
according to
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 urban and rural areas. The initial impression from the pie chart is that the vast majority of
Australian
Use synonyms
 citizens claim their ancestry to be of
Australian
Use synonyms
 origin. It is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable that most
Australian
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
, regardless of their ethnicity, are city dwellers.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie chart,
Australian
Use synonyms
 ethnicity makes up nearly three-fourths of the total population.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by the figure for
people
Use synonyms
 coming from the UK (7%) and New Zealand (3%). Residents of Chinese and Dutch ethnicity,
on the other hand
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, made up a negligible 1-2%. As is seen from the table, roughly 80% of
people
Use synonyms
 from Australia and New Zealand live in cities,
whereas
Linking Words
 only around 20% live in the countryside. A similar picture is evident in the figures for
people
Use synonyms
 from China and New Zealand, with their urban population amounting to a high of 90-99%.
Submitted by phuongdong.nguyentran on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic data
  • population distribution
  • nationality groups
  • urban planning
  • cultural diversity
  • social policy
  • demographic trends
  • rural vs. urban distribution
  • reflect on the implications
  • cultural exchange
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