Your child is going on a trip to another country for 3 days. School is looking for some parents who can join the trip and you decided to apply for the same. You are interested in going with trip. Write a letter to the head of the school and include: – Why you want to join the team – What you can do to assist – Queries related to the trip.

#child #trip #country #school #parents #head #team #queries

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my interest in the upcoming 3 days tour to Dubai

along with

my child. I am willing to be a part of

this

trip as I have been to Dubai

couple

Change the article

a couple

show examples

of times in the past and can suggest prime tourist attractions within the city.

Also

, I can recommend a few affordable and clean

accomodations

Correct your spelling

accommodations

for our stay in the beautiful city. I can

also

make arrangements for full meals - breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Due to

large

Correct article usage

the large

show examples

network, I can arrange for group passes in advance for several sites at a concessional rate.

For instance

, desert safari, dolphin show, underwater zoo and global village. In order to make bookings for tickets I need

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

details

such

total

Change the article

a total

the total

show examples

number of people travelling and among them how many are children and adults? Any special dietary requirements and if anyone has

particular

Correct article usage

a particular

show examples

allergy which

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to be considered for the meal. I

ensure

Verb problem

assure

show examples

you I will get you the best price in the town and I believe I could be of great help with

this

. I hope you will consider my request and will

accomodate

Correct your spelling

accommodate

Change preposition

show examples

this

trip. Yours faithfully, JK

Submitted by jyotikhera2712 on Sat Sep 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into shorter ones to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Provide a brief introduction and conclusion to frame your letter effectively.

coherence cohesion

The letter has a clear structure, addressing the necessary points comprehensively.

task achievement

The tone is suitable and polite, demonstrating enthusiasm and a willingness to assist.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

200 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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