IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #government #costs #universities #university #education #anyone
It is true that
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 that the state should pay the costs of running universities,
while
 some public tend towards the viewpoint that the
government
 should pay the educational
institution
 .I would have to support the idea that the
government
 should not pay for
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 educational
institution
Change noun form
institution's
show examples
 teaching. On the one hand,it is understandable for some public to believe
that
Change preposition
in
show examples
 free university education.One of the main reasons
can be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the university fee,
it's
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 too high for people nowadays,
for example
, one semester would have to pay over ten thousand new Taiwan dollars and it
is not include
Change the verb form
does not include
show examples
 the rent and daily life expenses,
according to
 the record,each person only can earn forty thousand per year,if giving the children to study educational
institution
 will increase the stress and make the life become a liability.so most people would agree governments pay the costs of running universities.
On the other hand
, it is more convincing for me not to be free.
First,I
 think that if educational
institution
 becomes free, it may not be helpful for society, because everyone will become the same,and the diploma will become useless.
Secondly
,there is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 free lunch in the world, you should pay for what you want,I think that the
government
 could set up some scholarships or loans for those who really want to study educational
institution
,it will be helpful for them,and make sure the quality of educational
institution
 diploma. In conclusion,
although
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that the
government
 should pay for educational
institution
.It seems to me that the
government
 should not pay for it.
Submitted by ggrunrunderr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay does not fully address the prompt. You only discuss one side of the argument. Make sure to present both sides and provide a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clear logical progression. Make sure to organize your ideas in a coherent manner, with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Make sure to vary your word choice and use more advanced vocabulary to improve your essay.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout your essay. Make sure to review the rules of grammar and punctuation to improve your accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government funding
  • equitable education system
  • social mobility
  • talented individuals
  • higher education
  • prioritize
  • sustainable
  • alternative sources of funding
  • partnerships with businesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: