Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development？
For some time now, travelling to
space
has been possible, and there are those who believe that such
tours may become a reality in the future. I feel that this
is a negative development because the trips involve a significant amount of money that could be spent more wisely in necessary areas. Additionally
, there is a lot of experimentation involved in this
type of tourism, making it dangerous.
Firstly
, I believe that the further
development of space
tourism will require intensive funding that can be wisely used to address issues such
as poverty and unemployment within the country. Additionally
, there is a severe lack of infrastructure, staff, and technological facilities in the healthcare sector that requires more attention in terms of funding.
Looking at the poor population of the country, which accounts for 35% of the total, it seems that initiatives need to be taken to aid economic growth. For example
, introducing schemes that can provide these people with free rations and prevent them from suffering from malnutrition would be a great idea. Besides
, the government should plan to introduce employment opportunities that cater to the skills of those who are in need. The hospital should also
take measures and allocate resources to improve its infrastructure, technology, and workforce in order to prevent highly vulnerable diseases and contribute to protecting the health of the country's citizens.
Secondly
, I believe that space
travel involves several risks such
as a deficiency of oxygen levels among the travelers, which can have a significant impact on their health. It can sometimes be fatal as well. There is a danger of collisions between aircraft and meteoroids or other moving objects that could lead to accidents and loss of life. Sometimes, rockets involved in travel cannot withstand the high pressure in the upper layers and can consequently
lead to catastrophic outcomes such
as blasts. For example
, in 2005, one of the spacecraft carrying five people, who were on their mission to discover hidden trends within the solar system, encountered a fatal accident due to
the immense pressure exerted upon the spacecraft, which it was unable to tolerate, resulting in an explosion. As there is a high risk and insufficient safety measures associated with this
type of tourism, it does not seem like a wise decision to continue promoting such
activities, as they could endanger many lives in the future.
To summarize, although
it may be possible to take a trip into space
at some point in the future and many people believe that this
will happen, I personally do not see it as a positive thing. I believe that the funds allocated for such
endeavours would be better spent on crucial areas that can help boost our nation's economy and overall
well-being.Submitted by y2083749065 on
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task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task and addressed both the positive and negative aspects of space tourism. However, your argument could be strengthened by including counter-arguments and addressing them.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, you could improve the cohesion by using linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate and varied. You have used a range of words and phrases to express your ideas. However, you could further enhance your lexical resource by including more specialized vocabulary related to the topic of space travel and tourism.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, and you have demonstrated a good range of sentence structures. However, there are some minor errors and instances of awkward phrasing. Proofread your essay carefully to eliminate these mistakes.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.