Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?
Many individuals dispute that the
relationship
between neighbours in large and developing cities
is low and strange. In my point of view, I will discuss more detail about this
problem and the way how to solve it.
Developing cities
which provide a high expense of life
, also
bring humorous advantages for our life
. Working or living in large cities
can lead our lives to become more cozy
and enjoyable. Despite the humorous advantages it brings to our Change the spelling
cosy
life
, living in cities
lead to an alert problem about the relationship
of human, specifically in resident. People
need to work
and earn money as much as spending time for other people
. The lifestyle of people
who live in cities
is too fast, they just work
and work
. Specifically to face to face with other people
to improve their relationship
network.
On the other hand
, not only for people
who work
to fulfill life
, but also
cause of people
who don’t want to speak or have a chat with others. For instance
, the famous condition in Japan was called” Hikikomori” which was a strange aspect of humans who don’t want to talk to other people
, they just want to stay safe at home. Therefore
, it will lead to a harmful impact on our relationship
, especially on the residents of our neighbors
.
To solve Change the spelling
neighbours
this
serious problem, we also
have various methods to use. We need to educate our children about the benefits that becoming friendly and making friends can bring to our lives. First of all, we need to make friends around our residents, it will be easy to make friends with our neighbors
. Change the spelling
neighbours
Secondly
, they can organize a competition like cooking.. to raise our relationship
. IT will be effective if we have a huge prize to encourage them.
To conclude
, being anti--socialized can make humans become introverts especially those who live in large cities
. They have too many things to do in one day and they don’t have enough time to communicate with others. We gain opportunities to have a talk with our neighbours.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
The essay addresses the task question but lacks clarity and depth. The arguments are not well-supported and need further development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and cohesive structure. The ideas are not consistently linked and organized. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in terms of clarity and relevance to the topic.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in expression. There are also instances of inappropriate word choices and awkward phrasings, impacting overall coherence and clarity.
Grammatical Range
The essay displays a limited range of sentence structures. There are errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and word order. These errors impede the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!