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Band 4

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbors #cities
Many
people
 currently have little knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 in metropolitan
cities
. It might lead to that they cannot help each other
as well as
 make the
life
 more boring. To solve
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
, many city systems should be improved to create more spaces for gathering and understanding each other well. The poor relationship can be the result of not knowing other
people
 living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
next
doors
Fix the agreement mistake
door
show examples
.
Therefore
, many
people
 living in the same regions cannot
be lent
Wrong verb form
lend
show examples
 a hand when having problems.
As a consequence
,
this
 situation may cause injuries or deaths in many big
cities
.
For instance
, in a crowded city in Vietnam, there was a fire in a house but nobody
took
Verb problem
paid
show examples
 attention to it, which means that the
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 just knew it after very long hours, so
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 family suffered
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge damage
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
 and property from the inferno. Another issue
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 being not aware of the appearance of the
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 will be more uninteresting. Indeed, knowing the
people
 living in the same place means that you can spend time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hanging out with them after
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 long stressful time at work or study. Thereby, it is a good way to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
as well as
alleviating
Wrong verb form
alleviate
show examples
 stress. The sensible approach to these issues
many
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
 be making the system of the
cities
 better. By adding more destinations to go out
at
Change preposition
to at
show examples
 night or for eating, many
people
 have the chance to meet
the
Change the word
their
show examples
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 more annually,
then
 they can enhance the relationship among them by talking.
As a result
, they can tackle the problems easily and be happier.
For example
, in Tokyo, which is one of the biggest
cities
 in the world, many places for entertainment and gathering with other
people
 are conducted, so you can easily see much conservation among many
people
 in
this
 place. In conclusion, I am of
my
Change the word
the
show examples
 opinion that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 boring
life
 and caring about others are attributed to not
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
 about the
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
Thus
, more places should be built for
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
 to make the relationship among
people
 living in the same region better.
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the logical structure needs improvement to better organize the ideas and support the main points. Additionally, the essay needs to address the task more comprehensively by providing more relevant and specific examples to support the ideas.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task but it needs to provide a more comprehensive response with clearer and more specific ideas and examples.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
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