IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You rent a four-bedroom house which you share with two others students. However, there are several problems with this house that need fixing. You also find it expensive and would to find another student to share the spare bedroom. Write a letter to the estate agency. In the letter : Explain your situation Describe the problem with the house Say what would you like to happen

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I’m writing to inform you that the four-bedroom house which I rented
last
Linking Words
 week from your agency has several problems.
School
Add an article
The school
show examples
 year is on its way
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
show examples
 so I need your help to fix all the problems. Beginning from scratch, the ventilation system is broken. It is a major issue because, in the cold season we need it badly.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the floor in two bedrooms needs to be fixed and the door from the kitchen is broken. In the bathroom, I face
also
Linking Words
 some minor problems. We have to mend the window
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it cannot be closed.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I want to inform you that the price for
such
Linking Words
 renting is too high for some students. Two friends agreed to live in
this
Linking Words
 house for 9 months with me
nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is not enough. That’s why I’m looking for another housemate to share the price. I hope you understand my point. As well, if there is anything you can lend a hand, I will be extremely grateful. Yours faithfully, Ada.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your response generally covers all parts of the task, but could benefit from more detail in some areas and be a bit more organized. Consider breaking down the problems into individual paragraphs with clear descriptions of each issue.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a clearer logical structure. For example, have separate paragraphs for each main point: the current situation, the problems with the house, and your request. This will make your letter more organized and easier to follow.
task achievement
The letter has a polite and appropriate tone, which is good for formal correspondence.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate for a formal letter.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph contains a single idea, which aids the reader’s understanding.

Contractions

Formal and informal language refers to using different forms of language in different settings.

In informal writing, you can use contractions such as I’ll and Сan’t.

In formal writing, you should write I will and Can not.

Do not use exclamation mark in formal writing, but you can use it in informal writing.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: