IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some people have the opinion that big shopping malls are expensive places as they offer high costs for the products which can be bought at much cheaper prices from local shops. On the other hand, some people think that such malls are absolutely the best places to visit for shopping. Discuss both the opinions and give your own opinion.

#people #malls #places #offer #costs #products #prices #shops #hand #visit
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Having a wide variety of options is one of the blessings of our modern day and age. Shopping is not about buying necessities anymore; it has become a lifestyle and leisure activity. Some members of society prefer shopping malls because they offer a wide range of choices
while
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 others think local markets and farmer shops are more affordable. In
this
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 essay, I will shed light on those views and give my opinion. In the 80s, the concept of shopping malls started to take the world by storm as they had multiple stores under one roof which offered different products. Some of these stores were high-street brands
while
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 others were high-end brands.
Also
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, a mall offered a supermarket, food court and designated areas for children to play. To
this
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 day, Shopping centres are popular among urban residents as they are more convenient for weekly shopping trips. In Saudi Arabia, most people prefer going to commercial centres as they have air-conditioning which makes the shopping experience more enjoyable.
On the other hand
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, for individuals who seek unique items or a more social shopping experience where they get to know the shop owner, the local market would be the choice for them.
Moreover
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, in
such
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 markets, people get to bargain and have more flexible financial exchange. Since local stores usually do not have a middleman between them and the product maker, their prices are lower than big chains. In conclusion, both shopping experiences have different benefits to offer to people and the choice is theirs to make to fulfil their needs. A shopping experience can be tailored to suit the desires of an individual.
Submitted by ghadeersulami on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next by using linking phrases to maintain the flow of the argument.
Task Achievement
Consider including more specific examples or data to further support your points, which can strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
While your conclusion is clear, you could restate your opinion more assertively in the final sentences to leave a stronger impression.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay begins with a concise introduction that clearly presents the topic and outlines the writer's intention to discuss both views.
Task Achievement
The essay gives a thorough explanation of why individuals may prefer shopping malls, addressing convenience, variety, and other benefits.
Task Achievement
You provide a thoughtful acknowledgment of local markets, discussing their potential advantages such as unique items and better pricing negotiations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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