IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The tables below show people's reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intend to give up. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The tables below show people's reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intend to give up. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#tables #show #people #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The tables give information on the reasons why
people
 are willing to quit smoking
as well as
 when they are planning to do so.
Overall
, it is evident that the majority of
people
 intend to give up to have better health in general within
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half a
year
Change noun form
year's
show examples
 time.
Moreover
, the major part of quitters
smoke
Change the verb form
smokes
show examples
 fewer than ten
cigarets
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
 a
day
. Surprisingly, whilst having better health remains the top reason for wanting to give up smoking, present health problems remain
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of the list with slightly over 10% of
people
.
Similarly
, fewer
people
 experience pressure from their families. When it comes to the amount of cigarettes smoked per
day
, the heaviest consumption of more than twenty units is seen among
people
 with the most popular reason to quit. Reasons
such
 as getting smoking-related illnesses
as well as
 financial issues are seen to be accurate for 25 to 30 per cent of individuals.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
71% of smokers
are intending
Wrong verb form
intend
show examples
 to give up,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of which is planning to do so within the next six months. Noticeably, the number of cigarettes smoked per
day
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both were higher among
people
 smoking fewer than 10 pieces per
day
.
In contrast
, among those who are not planning on giving up, which takes up 29 per cent, 40% of them
smokes
Correct subject-verb agreement
smoke
show examples
 more than 20 cigarettes. The least amount of
people
are intending
Wrong verb form
intend
show examples
 to quit within a month and approximately 20 per cent
plans
Fix the agreement mistake
plan
show examples
 to do so within the next year.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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