"The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion
The financial
support
and care for pensioner has sparked a debate in society. Some argue that the government
should cater to retirees' needs, while
others believe individuals should save for their own old age. This
essay will discuss both viewpoints and propose that a combination of government
support
and individual savings is the most effective approach for better retirees' well-being.
Advocates of government
assert that the government
should play a significant role in senior's financial support
and care. Take the UK government
as an example, where the government
take responsibility by regularly making payment for their people during their productive age and the people can claim it later. It is considered that after a lifetime of contributing to society, retirees deserve security. Government
-funded pensions and/or healthcare ensure essential services, promoting well-being. Honestly, government
have a right to set a tax for Add an article
the government
this
act.
Proponents of individual savings argue that personal financial responsibility is crucial for retirement preparation. This
could be done by enrolling in private pension insurance as the way people make their own pension plans. Encouraging saving fosters self-reliance and independence and building a retirement fund gives individuals more control over their financial future as well as
reducing reliance on the government
and easing the burden on welfare systems. In my point of view, these action
might be difficult considering Change the determiner
this action
these actions
elderly
as Correct article usage
the elderly
vulnerable
group in our society, they might Add an article
a vulnerable
do
not have any resources to do that. So, it could Unnecessary verb
apply
also
need family support
involvement, such
as the cash transfer from their children.
In conclusion, a balanced approach that combines authority support
and individual savings is the most viable solution. The regime should provide a safety net through pension schemes and healthcare support
. Simultaneously, encouraging citizens to save and invest in retirement plans empowers them to secure their financial future actively. By balancing these approaches, societies can create a supportive environment for pensioner in their golden years.Submitted by saynah_ on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas regarding government-funded pensions and private pension insurance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
grammatical range
Vary your sentence structure and avoid repetitive patterns.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.