We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers- based on technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Nowadays, we are depending on technology day by day noticeably
due to
the wide range of facilities has given us. In my point of view,
computers
can be able to change the world significantly and it wouldn'
t
be reliable. In
this
essay, I will argue my view. These days our lives are immersed in technology and we are surrounded by
computers
, helping us experience convenience by increasing the quality of our lives so that, we will become more independent and won'
t
need others' assistance.
therefore
, I assure you in the future
this
rate will grow up until
for example
, using self-driver or flight cars will become ordinary gadgets. As far as I remember,
this
outstanding invention was produced by humans as a servant for them to live better and it will progress fast, to save individuals precious time, and give them
this
opportunity to spend more time on their relationships with their loved ones. Technology can be a good friend for us and simultaneously can cause a disaster
such
as nuclear energy or we will be dominated by our creatures.
Thus
, I believe that we had better not to rely on
computers
and we maintain domination of them.
however
, they can'
t
perform or behave as an alternative to human beings.
For instance
, back to self-driver cars, they will be able to realize barriers and traffics by particular sensors but they can'
t
work in unforeseen circumstances or they can'
t
predict pedestrians' attitude.
Furthermore
, sensors may not work in heavy snow or rainy weather.
Consequently
, they may encounter plenty of problems. In conclusion, undoubtedly,
computers
are the most groundbreaking invention in all over the world that assist people to live better and work efficiently. They will be developing faster in the future. regardless of its benefits, they wouldn'
t
be trustworthy.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and coherent structure, which makes it somewhat difficult to follow. You should strive to present your ideas in a logical order, with each paragraph focusing on a clear main point. Make use of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
You addressed the topic, but the argumentation could be more detailed and nuanced. Aim to clearly state your thesis in the introduction and constantly refer back to the prompt in the body of the essay to ensure all arguments are relevant to the questions asked. Offer more detailed examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Automation
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital divide
  • Internet of Things (IoT)
  • Machine learning
  • Smart technology
  • Telecommuting
  • Virtual reality (VR)
  • 3D Printing
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