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Band 8

Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#education #people #countries #adults #governments #money
Education of young individuals is highly prioritized in many countries,
however
, there are adults who are not able to write or read and I strongly agree that educating them is more crucial and
governments
 should take some measures and spend
money
 on
this
.
To begin
 with, there is no doubt that today education is essential and it should be prioritized,
hence
 from my point of view there should not be a person who can not read or write. And
that is
 the reason why I strongly believe that
governments
 should spend more
money
 on
this
,
for instance
 nowadays unfortunately there are many people who can not afford to go to school and be educated due the the lack of
money
 but if
governments
 give those residents
money
 to attend to school and learn how to write or read that problem will be solved in no time.
Secondly
, if people do not know how to write or read they will never be able to find a job and needless to say that without working they can not survive and it can lead them to commit crimes to live.
For example
, they can rob others, I remember 2 years ago I read that an adult robbed a family to feed him and his family,
consequently
governments
 from around the world should spend as much
money
 as they can to help these adults educate. In conclusion, personally, I reckon that educating adults who can not write or read is vital and
governments
 should spend more
money
 on
this
,
otherwise
, it can lead to terrible consequences.
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

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supported main points
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complete response
You have a good understanding of the task and your ideas are clearly presented with suitable examples. Aim to further develop your arguments and delve more deeply into the issues you've raised.
clear comprehensive ideas
You made a good attempt to discuss the issues raised in the essay prompt. However, you could have enhanced your arguments by delivering your ideas in a more articulate manner.
relevant specific examples
While you incorporated some relevant examples into your work, strive to contextualize them within your argument. Contextualized examples make your argument more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy programs
  • functional illiteracy
  • social mobility
  • inter-generational poverty
  • workforce development
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • public health
  • civic participation
  • resource allocation
  • national development
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