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Band 7

In a number of countries, some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
Undoubtedly, Spending
money
 is a substantially significant topic in various nations that has triggered an untold amount of debate among various folks. It is highly argued by some groups of people that
money
 should allocated for establishing brand-new railways,
however
, it is
also
 considered by others that existing public
transport
 should improved.
Although
 the arguments on both sides are valid, there is in my opinion the latter group sounds more justified. To commence with, those who advocate the former scenario, wholeheartedly suggest that enormous importance has been laid on
this
,
such
 as manufacturing a new railway not only will remarkably reduce the utilization of fossil fuel by solo travellers who use their cars to travel between cities regularly but
also
 decrease the proportion of road accidents caused by drivers.
This
 happened in China, where
due to
 the launch of fast trains with an average speed of 200km the number of car accidents dramatically dropped. Now there is
also
 the flipside, where a decent group of individuals declare the budget should spent on the enhancement of existing public
transport
. There are a number of plus points for the mentioned trend, improving the existing public
transport
such
 as expanding the numbers of seats in tubes,
as well as
 decreasing the fare would be a feasible approach to
further
 the welfare of the public.
This
 results in encouraging the public to take advantage of public
transport
 as it would be cheaper and more accessible compared to other types of
transport
. There is
also
 in my point of view dedicating
money
 to improving existing public
transport
 need to be prioritized. All summed up the necessities
along with
 the attitudes and aptitudes connected to the above-mentioned theory, demonstrate, that
although
 people may vary in their opinions, it would be far more beneficial to spend the
money
 on boosting existing public
transport
.
Submitted by maryam.niknamm on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure by using paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and clearly showcase a connection between ideas. Avoid general statements and aim for clarity in presenting your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should be clear and bookend your essay effectively. Ensure your opinion is stated clearly, ideally in the introduction, and reiterated in the conclusion for emphasis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that your main points are supported by relevant examples or evidence. Be specific rather than general in your supporting details to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
A complete response to the task requires you to address all parts of the prompt, including a discussion of both views and a clear statement of your own opinion. Make sure to cover these aspects thoroughly to achieve a higher score.
Task Achievement
Your ideas should be expressed clearly and developed comprehensively. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your argument progresses logically throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support your viewpoints. Your examples should be well chosen and clearly linked to the main ideas in the essay. Avoid examples that are too general or unrelated to the argument you are making.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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