some people like to spend their liesure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.

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The choice to spend the leisure
time
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has sparked debates in the society.
While
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some
people
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love to kill
time
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after office hours with their colleagues, others tend to enjoy their
time
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by their own selves.
This
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essay will discuss both viewpoints and argue that each individual is free to choose how they spend their
time
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considering their situation. Some
people
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enjoy spending their spare
time
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after the office with their friends or coworkers. There are many activities to be tried with a group of
people
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.
For instance
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, going to karaoke, having dinner together, or going out to watch a cinema together.
This
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way is preferable for individuals who have a high social energy and a strong willingness to maintain relationships with other
people
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. It would benefit them for gaining relaxation, sharing stressful mind, and recharging their energy after all day working. In stark contrast, there are
people
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choosing to spend their leisure
time
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after work by themselves. Honestly, working can be tiring sometimes for several
people
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and they need a space to calm themselves.
People
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might be going home directly or having dinner on their own.
However
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,
this
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might happen
due to
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several conditions,
such
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as they pursue the value of work-life balance, they are too tired to interact with the crowd, it was their way to set boundaries from others, or they live far from the office so cannot join a group activity post working hours. In conclusion,
people
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have their own preferences on how to spend their after-office
time
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. One might love to spend with their coworkers by doing group activities to reduce stress and others might prefer to go home early to spend their free
time
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alone for several reasons as mentioned before. As far as it makes them feel content, it will always be fine.
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task achievement
Make sure to address both viewpoints in more detail and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to the overall organization and clarity of your essay. Provide a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and try to use more varied and precise words and phrases.
grammatical range
Work on improving the accuracy of your grammar and sentence structures.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • colleagues
  • team-building activities
  • work-life balance
  • socialize
  • networking
  • boundary
  • privacy
  • personal relationships
  • stressful
  • detrimental
  • efficiency
  • distractions
  • professionalism
  • segregation
  • personal time
  • maintain relationships
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