some people like to spend their liesure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.

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The choice to spend the leisure
time
has sparked debates in the society.
While
some
people
love to kill
time
after office hours with their colleagues, others tend to enjoy their
time
by their own selves.
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints and argue that each individual is free to choose how they spend their
time
considering their situation. Some
people
enjoy spending their spare
time
after the office with their friends or coworkers. There are many activities to be tried with a group of
people
.
For instance
, going to karaoke, having dinner together, or going out to watch a cinema together.
This
way is preferable for individuals who have a high social energy and a strong willingness to maintain relationships with other
people
. It would benefit them for gaining relaxation, sharing stressful mind, and recharging their energy after all day working. In stark contrast, there are
people
choosing to spend their leisure
time
after work by themselves. Honestly, working can be tiring sometimes for several
people
and they need a space to calm themselves.
People
might be going home directly or having dinner on their own.
However
,
this
might happen
due to
several conditions,
such
as they pursue the value of work-life balance, they are too tired to interact with the crowd, it was their way to set boundaries from others, or they live far from the office so cannot join a group activity post working hours. In conclusion,
people
have their own preferences on how to spend their after-office
time
. One might love to spend with their coworkers by doing group activities to reduce stress and others might prefer to go home early to spend their free
time
alone for several reasons as mentioned before. As far as it makes them feel content, it will always be fine.
Submitted by saynah_ on

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task achievement
Make sure to address both viewpoints in more detail and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to the overall organization and clarity of your essay. Provide a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and try to use more varied and precise words and phrases.
grammatical range
Work on improving the accuracy of your grammar and sentence structures.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • colleagues
  • team-building activities
  • work-life balance
  • socialize
  • networking
  • boundary
  • privacy
  • personal relationships
  • stressful
  • detrimental
  • efficiency
  • distractions
  • professionalism
  • segregation
  • personal time
  • maintain relationships
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