characterostics we are born with have more influence on our personality and devolpment than experiences

Numerous studies have found that the traits of

personality

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we are born with have more impact on our character and personal development than the

experiences

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we collect during our lifetime. As far as I am concerned, even if both of these views have their own rights, it is my belief that the second one is more influential.

To begin

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with, there is no denying that our genes strongly affect our

behavior

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behaviour

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since we were tiny children. Is part of our DNA and we inherit a percentage of our

personality

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from our relatives,

whom

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who

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could leave a mark on our growth.

Besides

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also

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the kind

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show examples

environment we are born could

affects

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affect

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our attitude and the way we think or make

decision

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decisions

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For example

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, we can have similar traits

with

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show examples

our parents,

such

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as being outgoing, having

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apply

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strong

self esteem

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self-esteem

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or,

on the contrary

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shy and insecure.

Nonetheless

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, it could have the potential to lead us to get stuck in our thoughts and behavior, and not

try

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take

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enough risks to really stretch ourselves or put ourselves in situations that challenge us.

On the other hand

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, the

experiences

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we have during our existence, have a massive effect on our

personality

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and

given

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give

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us the opportunity to really discover our hidden

potentials

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potential

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, and

also

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some new details of our individuality. It is widely known that the more adventures we have in our lives, the more chance we will

growth

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grow

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as individuals. Staying in our comfort zone often gives us a sense of control and stability, but it does not lead to progress.

For instance

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, youngsters who engaged in a year studying abroad, have developed new abilities in communication and

learnt

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learn

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new cultures.

To conclude

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, I reiterate my statement by saying that the

experiences

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we have in our life, could be an overwhelmingly positive development for our

personality

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. We are certainly influenced by our genes and characteristics we have since we were born, but we benefit from

experiences

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a huge amount of things,

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particular

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particular,

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could

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can

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identify more

our

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of our

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strengths, we can learn

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from

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our

lack

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lacks

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and enhance ourselves and we could combat our fears.

As a result

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Use synonyms

experiences

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experience

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is a viable and workable option to grow and improve our

personality

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martycodro

Nov 6, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Provide clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve the logical structure of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Consider adding a more conclusive statement in the conclusion to strengthen the overall structure of the essay.

lexical grammatical

Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary sentence structures to enhance the lexical resource and grammatical range of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

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characterostics we are born with have more influence on our personality and devolpment than experiences

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

if teenagers at 14 years old are not good at studying, it’s a better choice for them to leave school and be trained with certain skills to find a job easily.

In some countries, children under 16 years old are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss your opinion?