Nowadays in many countries young people leave rural areas to study or work in cities. What are the reasons for this? Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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The youth today are choosing to relocate from rural communities to vibrant cities for the purpose of profession or academia. There are many factors that motivate them to make

this

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decision

such

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as better jobs and higher living standards.

Although

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there are some disadvantages,

this

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essay will argue the reasons why there are more advantages. The primary reason why many adolescents are

following

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this

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trend is because of the benefits it provides.

First,

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a populated metropolitan usually offers more job opportunities with higher salaries than other locations.

For example

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, a countryside teacher is paid 40% less than an average teacher in the city.

This

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due to

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the fact that schools in cities have more children and

thus

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the academics are paid more as per the number of students.

Second,

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the quality of life in urban areas is higher;

as a result

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, it attracts various teenagers. To illustrate, a metropolitan area has all types of transportation including trains, metro and buses among others.

This

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means that everyone in cities can quickly and easily reach their destination,

whereas

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, in the countryside, it would take longer. Despite the advantages discussed above, there are

however

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some drawbacks to

this

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decision. One of the major points is that they have to stay away from their families. When adolescents relocate, they are moving from their current home to another and most often, it is without their family for plenty of factors.

For instance

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, they are not earning enough to care for families yet, and if they are students

then

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they are not making any income at all. So for many, homesickness is a real issue that causes severe mental frustration and

as a result

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, rural youngsters who followed the trend are reportedly scoring low in their studies.

To conclude

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, there are merits and demerits for the youth who are shifting to metropolitan areas from less populated locations for work or education. Regardless, the essay discussed stronger benefits

such

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as the importance of better opportunities and higher living standards; these reasons outweigh the issue of homesickness.

MazamFri Oct 13 2023

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task achievement

Try to provide a little more depth in your examples. For instance, you can elaborate on how the job market in cities specifically differs from rural areas beyond just salary differences.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the links between your ideas are clear and fluid. Using more linking words and phrases could help improve the overall logical flow of your argument.

task achievement

Consider providing a broader range of disadvantages, as this would allow for a more balanced view of the argument being presented. Mentioning other factors such as urban living costs could also strengthen your critique.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that effectively outline your main argument.

task achievement

You have presented relevant points regarding job opportunities and quality of life, which are crucial in discussing this topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

340 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

urbanization
rural exodus
job market
academic institutions
cultural diversity
infrastructure
metropolitan
traditional values
overpopulation
innovation
networking opportunities
telecommuting
quality of life
economic disparity
environmental degradation

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Nowadays in many countries young people leave rural areas to study or work in cities. What are the reasons for this? Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

One of the most pressing problems the world is facing today is overpopulation. What are the causes and effects of this problem?

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future lives. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion