IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
#information #ages #populations #yemen #projections
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The four pie charts compare the
population
Use synonyms
 structure in terms of ages in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy through a 50-year period from 2000 to 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 aged from 15-59 at any time between 2000 and 2050
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 significantly higher than the
overall
Linking Words
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, the number of those who are below 14
years
Use synonyms
 old and those
belong
Correct pronoun usage
who belong
show examples
 to the 60+ age group witness different changes. In 2000, close to 50% and nearly 14% of citizens under 14 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy respectively.
People
Use synonyms
 between 15 and 59
years
Use synonyms
 old contributed to 46% of the
population
Use synonyms
 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
, which was less than 20% that of Italians.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Yemen
Change noun form
Yemen's
show examples
 elderly
people
Use synonyms
 made up roughly 4% of the
population
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 it was over 24% of
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the elderly in Italy. In 2050, it is predicted that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
half of the
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 belonging to the 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 group will decrease by 13% in
Yemen
Use synonyms
. Simultaneously, approximately 57% of
people
Use synonyms
 range from 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 old and 5.7% of those who are over 60. In Italy, the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 below 14
years
Use synonyms
 old will slightly shrink to 11.5%.It is forecasted to be close to 46.2% of
people
Use synonyms
 over 15 and 42.3% of the
population
Use synonyms
 are 60+.
Submitted by ieltsamiedu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, yemen, people, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • age demographics
  • age structure
  • population distribution
  • youthful population
  • ageing population
  • life expectancy
  • birth rate
  • demographic shift
  • population projection
  • median age
  • dependents
  • working-age population
  • elderly dependents
  • geriatric
  • fertility rate
  • migration
  • demographic trends
  • baby boomers
  • demographic dividend
  • population pyramid
What to do next:
Look at other essays: