IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows the results of the survey conducted over a three-year period to discover what people who live in London thought of the city

The bar chart shows the results of the survey conducted over a three-year period to discover what people who live in London thought of the city
#bar #results #survey #period #people #london #city
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The bar graph display
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the survey from 3 years to
represents
Wrong verb form
represent
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London
citizen
Change noun form
citizen'
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 thoughts of their city.
Overall
,
range
Correct article usage
the range
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 of shops
are
Change the verb form
is
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 still in demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 in
London
. It shows in three years,
range
Correct article usage
the range
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 of shops
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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high
Change preposition
in high
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demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
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 with around 40
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
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, followed by work occupation with 35
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
.
Mixture
Add an article
A mixture
The mixture
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 of
people
 is
also
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the list with
stagnant
Correct article usage
a stagnant
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 graph, meaning
of
Change preposition
apply
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many races
are lived
Wrong verb form
live
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 in
London
. In number fourth, with
Correct article usage
a steady
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steady
Correct article usage
a steady
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 rise is Museums & Art Galleries.
Moreover
,
night life
Correct your spelling
nightlife
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 and transportation manage to fluctuate. Many
persons
Replace the word
people
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 agree
,
Remove the comma
apply
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range
Correct article usage
the range
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 of shops is the most valuable
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 in
London
. Considering job opportunities in
London
, there is no doubt that many corporations are open to
undergraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
undergraduates
show examples
. Citizens have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 thoughts
with
Change preposition
as
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 many
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
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lived
Wrong verb form
living
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 in
London
 and other aspects below, make
overall
 satisfaction of
people
 in
London
.
By the
Change preposition
The
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 time of other aspects, many
people
 come to
London
to
Change preposition
for
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 recreation, regarding to many things can be
discover
Wrong verb form
discovered
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such
 as museums & art galleries with a lot of discoveries. Other than that,
night life
Correct your spelling
nightlife
show examples
 is the most common
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 for
people
 to come
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
London
 with adequate transportation.
Submitted by hwidyadana on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • results
  • conducted
  • three-year period
  • discover
  • thought
  • city
  • overall satisfaction
  • opinions
  • safety and security
  • transportation
  • perceptions
  • cleanliness
  • cultural and recreational activities
  • attitudes
  • cost of living
  • feedback
  • healthcare services
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