Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about the dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #talk #school #students #dangers #crime

Legal education,

as well as

crime-committing prevention, are essential for each country so that its society is capable of gaining sustainable progress. Many people hold the view that having released prisoners give a talk is an effective educational method.

While

I agree with

this

opinion, there are more suitable alternatives to

this

issue. On the one hand, It is reasonable that

students

may raise their awareness of illegal

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

through a talk by ex-prisoners. They can improve their knowledge and perception of dangers and the consequences of disobeying the

law

Although

students

used to have the perception of crime through previous stories or advice, they are only narrative stories that are not persuasive and attractive enough for

students

Therefore

, the real stories of used-to-be wrongdoers that are vivid and experiential will help

students

have a profound and adequate awareness of the

law

. It is not only a way for ex-criminals to make up for their past mistakes, but it is

also

an educational method that should be promoted in schools in the future.

Besides

schooling through a former prisoner’s sharing, there is a variety of educational methods that would bring desirable results.

Firstly

, if parents set an abiding-by-the-

law

example for their children, they can help their children be educated about the advantages of respecting the

law

Therefore

, children can avoid evils when they are at an early age and are geared to become responsible inhabitants of society.

Secondly

, schools play a critical role in raising

students

’ awareness about people who did something illegal in the past. It will be better if the experiences of criminals are recorded and replayed during curricular sessions in schooling environments. In conclusion,

although

I agree that it is effective to have a talk given by ex-criminals, there are better educational methods for the

law

and crime.

Submitted by phuonggdungg232 on Tue Nov 07 2023

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task response

Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task, presents a developed response, and supports main points.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use a wide range of cohesive devices and link ideas together coherently within paragraphs and between paragraphs.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to enhance your expression and accuracy.

grammatical range

Work on using a variety of complex structures and demonstrating control of a range of grammatical structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about the dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages?

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.