Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about the dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Legal education,
as well as
crime-committing prevention, are essential for each country so that its society is capable of gaining sustainable progress. Many people hold the view that having released prisoners give a talk is an effective educational method.
While
I agree with
this
opinion, there are more suitable alternatives to
this
issue. On the one hand, It is reasonable that
students
may raise their awareness of illegal
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
through a talk by ex-prisoners. They can improve their knowledge and perception of dangers and the consequences of disobeying the
law
.
Although
students
used to have the perception of crime through previous stories or advice, they are only narrative stories that are not persuasive and attractive enough for
students
.
Therefore
, the real stories of used-to-be wrongdoers that are vivid and experiential will help
students
have a profound and adequate awareness of the
law
. It is not only a way for ex-criminals to make up for their past mistakes, but it is
also
an educational method that should be promoted in schools in the future.
Besides
schooling through a former prisoner’s sharing, there is a variety of educational methods that would bring desirable results.
Firstly
, if parents set an abiding-by-the-
law
example for their children, they can help their children be educated about the advantages of respecting the
law
.
Therefore
, children can avoid evils when they are at an early age and are geared to become responsible inhabitants of society.
Secondly
, schools play a critical role in raising
students
’ awareness about people who did something illegal in the past. It will be better if the experiences of criminals are recorded and replayed during curricular sessions in schooling environments. In conclusion,
although
I agree that it is effective to have a talk given by ex-criminals, there are better educational methods for the
law
and crime.
Submitted by phuonggdungg232 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task, presents a developed response, and supports main points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a wide range of cohesive devices and link ideas together coherently within paragraphs and between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to enhance your expression and accuracy.
grammatical range
Work on using a variety of complex structures and demonstrating control of a range of grammatical structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: