IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, a lot of
tourists
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 are on holiday in some places that have challenging
conditions
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, like
Correct article usage
the sahara
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sahara
Change the capitalization
Sahara
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 desert or the
antarctic
Capitalize word
Antarctic
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. It is an interesting topic. In
this
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 essay, I will provide some opinions on
this
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 matter. In
this
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 era, Visiting a lot of places where the areas have difficult
conditions
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 can have numerous benefits. First of all,
this
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 will make many people feel challenged
due to
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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conditions
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.
For instance
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, several teenagers will choose
this
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 destination as they want to try new things and experiences that make them never forget the experience.
Secondly
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,
this
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 will make they are easy to survive wherever they are. They will get used to facing some complicated problems and situations because they have many experiences. So,
this
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 experience can teach them how to handle stress and tackle obstacles.
On the other hand
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, there are several disadvantages to
this
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 phenomenon.
Firstly
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, some
tourists
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 will experience sickness if they can not survive in
this
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 environment.
Secondly
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, the presence of
tourists
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 in ecologically fragile areas can cause environmental damage. Many extreme regions like Antarctica or deserts have ecosystems that are highly sensitive to human disturbance. Tourist activities can lead to pollution, disruption of natural habitats, or damage to the flora and fauna present in these areas.
For example
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, Disturbing wildlife,
such
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 as penguins or seals, can cause stress or disruption in their feeding and breeding patterns.
Therefore
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, it is crucial for
tourists
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 to be well-prepared and follow strict guidelines to minimize their impact on these delicate environments. In conclusion,
while
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 travelling to places with challenging
conditions
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 can provide valuable experiences and personal growth, it is important for
tourists
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 to be well-prepared and mindful of the environmental impact. Responsible tourism is essential to preserve these fragile ecosystems.

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writing style
Try to enhance sentence variety and complexity to add sophistication to your writing.
evidence
Provide more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
analysis
Expand on each point with deeper analysis to fully explore each aspect of the topic.
structure
Clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion, aiding in reader comprehension.
balance
Addresses both benefits and disadvantages, showing a balanced view of the topic.
examples
Good use of specific examples to illustrate points, such as the reference to teenagers seeking adventures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking landscapes
  • unique ecosystems
  • sense of adventure
  • personal growth
  • indigenous cultures
  • environmental conservation
  • climate change
  • environmental degradation
  • economically disadvantaged areas
  • physical health
  • harsh weather
  • difficult terrain
  • limited access to medical facilities
  • fragile ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • basic amenities
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