IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In many countries, the amount o f crime is increasing What do you think are the main causes o f crime? How can we deal with those causes?

#countries #amount #f #crime
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It is undoubtedly the case that urban areas around the world increasingly suffer from crime.There are several reasons for
this
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 problem, and various measures could be taken by governments and individuals to improve the situation. There are a variety of different fact ors that have led to the major cause being that
public's
Correct article usage
the public's
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 income is no balance in life.The second reason is that the social environment is not good for society nowadays. Despite some obvious reasons described above, there are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems.
First,
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a simple solution would be to raise the income,because society who spend a lot of time on work do not get the same feedback.
For example
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, Taiwan's lowest income is 178NTD per hour but one meal today costs over 150NTD，
public
Add an article
the public
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 cannot balance life with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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low earnings,
when
Correct word choice
and when
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public
Add an article
the public
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 can't get what in the right way,they will try in the wrong way, and
that is
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 why the case started. The second measure would be for the government to give more social allowances like rent allowance,free education or money allowances to make
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 get a better life it will be helpful to reduce cases. In conclusion, despite some obvious reasons, various measures can be taken to tackle the problem of the case.
Submitted by ggrunrunderr on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure, linked paragraphs, and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion must be evident and link back to the question effectively. Work on a clear thesis statement and recap the main points conclusively.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with relevant explanations and clear support. Arguments require expansion and deep analysis.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Be sure to fully answer the question without omitting any aspect. Offer a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Ideas must be clear and comprehensive throughout the essay. Aim for clarity and precision in your argumentation.
task achievement
Illustrate your points with relevant specific examples; these need to be detailed and directly related to the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socioeconomic factors
  • poverty
  • unemployment
  • dysfunctional families
  • parental guidance
  • peer pressure
  • substance abuse
  • lenient laws
  • weak enforcement
  • legal system
  • law enforcement
  • media influence
  • desensitize
  • glorification of crime
What to do next:
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