In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that more and more
people
have a longer life is influencing many countries nowadays. Use synonyms
While
some Linking Words
people
think it is good to see more elders living in our daily lives, it seems Use synonyms
hat
the high-aged population has a more passive impact on modern society. The reasons will be mentioned in the next paragraphs.
Correct your spelling
that
To begin
with, the ageing population leads to a higher Linking Words
pressure
on the entire medical system. To be more specific, the need for medical skills is higher and higher, Use synonyms
for example
, doctors and nurses. Linking Words
However
, it is hard to hire enough professional workers and manage them, which may lead a more Linking Words
pressure
on the staff working in hospitals. Use synonyms
As a result
, young Linking Words
people
need to spare their time to deal with caring problems, which is one of the difficult issues for every family.
Use synonyms
In addition
, it is more common for elder workers to prolong their careers, which causes some serious problems. Linking Words
Firstly
, young Linking Words
people
do not have opportunities to get promoted, Use synonyms
due to
their supervisors not willing to leave their jobs. Linking Words
According to
a recent survey, the retirement age has risen to over 75 years old, which indicates that more and more employees are still working now. Linking Words
Secondly
, in a company, the older managers usually control much more power than others and make the important decisions even if these are related to some newest trends, Linking Words
while
they do not understand any of them, Linking Words
such
as Al, social media, and self-driving cars. Linking Words
Finally
, the younger generation can not receive a higher salary but they still need to take care of their older families, which is a massive economic Linking Words
pressure
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
elderly Linking Words
people
are a crucial part of our society, the increasing number of old Use synonyms
people
not only causes the Use synonyms
pressure
for medical system but Use synonyms
also
for the workplace. Linking Words
As a result
, Linking Words
according to
the reasons above, it is not a positive phenomenon for our future.Linking Words
Submitted by vincent3725416 on
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Task Achievement
The essay provides a very one-sided argument on the topic, without adequately exploring the advantages of an ageing population as required by the question. A more balanced discussion of both sides would be advantageous.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer transitions and a logical progression of ideas. Structuring paragraphs with clear topic sentences and subsequent supporting sentences would improve readability.
Lexical Resource
Avoid repetition of vocabulary and strive to use a wider range of words and expressions, especially synonyms for terms like 'elderly' and 'medical system'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Work on complex sentence structures and ensure that sentences are grammatically correct and varied in length and type. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?