The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
While
enhancing human well-being through science is important, I believe that by no means should it be solely the primary goal of science. Equally important are safeguarding the environment and respecting animal rights.
Scientific progress should never be achieved by sacrificing the environment, which plays a crucial role in sustaining human life. As the world’s population increases, creating better ways to produce food, such
as more effective pesticides, becomes vital. Yet, if the focus remains solely on boosting crop yields, the pesticides developed may not only affect pests but also
make the land infertile, worsening the preexisting issue of food scarcity. This
highlights the importance of taking a balanced approach to scientific advancement that focuses on caring for both human lives and the health of the environment that they depend on.
Furthermore
, testing drugs on animals raises serious ethical concerns. Ensuring the safety of novel medicines for human use is critical, but prioritizing human health over animal rights is morally unacceptable. Animals, much like humans, experience emotions and share the right to live freely and without unnecessary suffering. Subjecting them to prolonged captivity solely for testing can result in both physical and psychological suffering. As moral beings, we have a responsibility to treat animals compassionately and avoid such
acts of brutality in the name of human betterment.
In conclusion, although
improving people’s lives is an important aim of science, I believe that it should never overshadow other vital objectives within the field. We must also
give equal priority to environmental preservation and animal welfare, striking a balance between scientific progress and ethics for a better world.Submitted by elroivan on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure; however, the progression of ideas can be improved with clearer linking of points and more varied connectives.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but could be sharpened to directly address the 'extent' to which the aim of science should be to improve people's lives.
Coherence & Cohesion
Main points are supported, yet more explicit examples to illustrate the arguments would enhance the persuasive power.
Task Achievement
While the response to the task addresses the prompt, it partially strays from the central statement regarding the primary goal of science being to improve human lives. There should be a clearer focus on this aspect.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear and understandable but could be more comprehensive, exploring the topic thoroughly from all relevant angles.
Task Achievement
Providing more relevant and specific examples would enhance your essay by demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite