Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #music #culture #ages

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Nowadays,

music

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has become a

language

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of communication and expressing emotions by

people

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. It is believed by many that

music

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plays a significant role in minimising the gap between different communities and cultures. I strongly agree with

this

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point of view and in

this

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essay, I will support my opinion with examples. To start with,

music

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acts as a catalyst for cultural exchange and understanding among individuals from different cultural and religious backgrounds.

In other words

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, sounds in a particular

language

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attract

people

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from other backgrounds to listen and understand which results in intercultural change among nations.

For example

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, these days, individuals are heading towards different countries in search of better lifestyles and more employment opportunities.

As a result

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, they connect with persons from different cultures and age groups which leads to multicultural society. Another worth considering factor is the power of

music

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to evoke emotions and expressions.

In addition

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music

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is a way to express feelings which act like a universal

language

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For instance

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, Indians like listening to foreign

music

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and foreigners are attracted towards Indian tones, especially Punjabi tunes and they play these songs on some special occasions like weddings and birthdays to express their happiness.

Therefore

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music

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helps to create a sense of unity and connection among individuals from different nations.

On the other hand

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, it is believed by some

people

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that sometimes it becomes difficult to understand the meaning of lyrics in another

language

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because of the

language

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barrier and it creates differences and a sense of loneliness in persons living in a society.

To conclude

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although

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, it is a common belief that

music

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becomes a barrier among

people

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from different cultures and backgrounds, I believe

this

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is a great mode to connect

people

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all over the world and helps to adapt to a different country's culture and emotions easily.

Submitted by sainisonia422 on Tue Nov 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure all paragraphs are well-linked and ideas flow naturally from one to the next. Some transitions between ideas could be smoother.

task achievement

While the essay addresses the topic, task response could be strengthened by providing more specific examples and a detailed discussion that deepens the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How it can be addressed?

Some people think It's better to choose friends who always hav the same opinions as them. Other people believe it is good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economics progress is there most important goal some people fieber think that other type of progress are equally important for a country discuss both views and give your opinion

Science tells there are activities that are good for the health. However some people still continue doing unhealthy habits. Causes and solutions.

Many organisations and companies ask their staff to wear a uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? What kind of jobs should have a work uniform?