In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In some

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

we can witness tremendous requests in owning a

home

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of renting one. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

several reasons including financial security, and stability and control over lives. Totally, it can be considered as a positive situation.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I am sure that it is acknowledged by many that owning a

home

Use synonyms

can make individuals feel safe in some aspects

such

Linking Words

as long-term financial security. Since, the owner of a property may impose high amounts of rental, and in some cases, it increases yearly people prefer to buy an estate for themselves.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it can be considered as a financial resource in tough times.

In other words

Linking Words

, when owners need money they can sell it or it can provide a valuable asset which can be passed down to the next generations.

For instance

Linking Words

, the children of a family who has several properties would be wealthy in the future.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the more people have control over their lives the more satisfied they are about that. Renting a

home

Use synonyms

takes all one's freedom in designing, decorating, and even partying.

Change preposition

show examples

contrary

Correct article usage

the contrary

show examples

, when individuals

property

Add a missing verb

have property

show examples

they are free to do almost

every thing

Correct your spelling

everything

show examples

with it and personalize their house. Take an individual who owns an asset as an example, he/she can

Rephrase

apply

show examples

modify their place based on their interests and preferences without needing permission from a landlord. By way of conclusion, once again I reiterate my opinion about

this

Linking Words

matter.

However

Linking Words

, in some

situations

Add a comma

situations,

show examples

it is beneficial to rent a

home

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

short-time

Correct your spelling

short-term

show examples

accommodation in a city and it depends on personal circumstances. Totally, in my view, owning a

home

Use synonyms

is profitable and

make

Verb problem

gives

show examples

people

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more opportunities to make decisions about their lives.

Submitted by reihanetorfe on Tue Nov 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

The essay does not fully address the task, as it lacks a clear discussion of why owning a home is important for people in some countries. The introduction and conclusion are weak and could be improved to better address the task prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is weak, resulting in unclear and disconnected ideas. The introduction and conclusion need to be more substantial in order to improve coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary and uses a mix of simple and complex language. To improve the lexical resource, the use of more precise vocabulary and idiomatic expressions is recommended.

Grammatical Range

There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. To enhance grammatical range, focus on using a variety of sentence structures and maintaining consistency in tense and agreement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

287 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Luck has nothing to do with success. Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.
When individuals achieve it is because of hard work. Luck is not related to advance. While some people claim if people succeed in their fields, they have luck in achievement. My opinion is irrelevant with luck.
6.5
band
It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To, to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Saving money is crucial for individuals, especially for the younger generation. Although the value of money will decrease over time, I firmly believe it is an excellent chance to ensure financial security in the future.
6.5
band
An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries.
An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries.
6.5
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:" Advances in technology have made people happier than they were before."? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
In recent decades easy access to technologies and the internet greatly influenced the world in everything. However, some people believe that the introduction of innovations has a bad influence on the new generation. I lean towards the belief, that devices make people’s lives happier, rather than worse. Analyzing specific examples, as a possibility to meet and connect to new people, as well as the opportunity to work for the leading countries, will prove my point accordingly.
7.5
band
People visiting other countries should adapt to the customs and behaviours expected there. They should not expect the host country to welcome different customs and behaviours. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that tourists should respect the cultural behaviours and clothing of the destination country they visit. However, I believe that the host countries are responsible for behaving visitors well and accepting the cultural differences.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Fully explain your ideas

Luck has nothing to do with success. Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To, to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:" Advances in technology have made people happier than they were before."? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

People visiting other countries should adapt to the customs and behaviours expected there. They should not expect the host country to welcome different customs and behaviours. To what extent do you agree or disagree?