In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and theri levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
In today's hectic world Obesity is
the
major issue Correct article usage
a
facing
by Wrong verb form
faced
alot
of masses.Correct your spelling
a lot
This
comes with not only health problems but droping
Correct your spelling
dropping
the
Correct article usage
apply
self confidence
, laziness, Add a hyphen
self-confidence
lonliness
and so on. In Correct your spelling
loneliness
this
essay, We discover the main engenders as well as
furnish the solutions to alleviate it effectively.
To commence with, Nowadays, world
become a war of success, Add an article
the world
compition
, Correct your spelling
competition
fame
. Everyone wants to become more popular. Individuals Correct word choice
and fame
doing
work beyond their capacities to Wrong verb form
do
fulfill
their daily needs. Humans Change the spelling
fulfil
converts
into machines. Owing to Change the verb form
convert
this
, They do not acquire proper time for their diet, sleep and fittness
. Correct your spelling
fitness
For example
, A lady has a 9 to 5 job. She awake
up in the morning to household shores, Verb problem
wakes
prepare
their kids for school, Correct subject-verb agreement
prepares
go
to Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
office
, Add an article
the office
an office
return
back home and Correct subject-verb agreement
returns
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
same
household Correct article usage
the same
shores
and Correct your spelling
chores
tend
to sleep at night. Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
This
acitivity
going Correct your spelling
activity
repeatedely
.
Correct your spelling
repeatedly
Additonally
, Youngsters Correct your spelling
Additionally
attract
more towards junk foods Wrong verb form
are attracted
instead
of Add an article
a health
health
diet. They usually consume soft drinks, burgers , pizza etc which Replace the word
healthy
is tend
them to obesity. Wrong verb form
tends
Moreover
, Children spend most of their time to play
games on Change the verb form
playing
computer
, using mobile phones and hardly Add an article
the computer
a computer
play
any outdoor activity which keeps them healthy.
Wrong verb form
playing
However
, There
are plenty of solutions to cope with Fix capitalization
there
this
problem. Firstly
, Government
should Correct article usage
the Government
do
some reduction Verb problem
make
on
working hours so that people Change preposition
in
obtain
more time Verb problem
have
focus
on their Fix the infinitive
to focus
fittness
. Correct your spelling
fitness
Also
, In the office, a
twice a month organize kind of sports events which encourage employers towards games and Correct article usage
apply
assit
them to become healthy. Correct your spelling
assist
Secondly
, Schools focus more on physical activities like to play
games, Change the verb form
playing
arrange
school level Wrong verb form
arranging
compition
every week which Correct your spelling
competitions
helps
learners to become fit and healthy, Correct subject-verb agreement
help
bring
them to social awareness camps where they acquire Wrong verb form
bringing
aknowable
the importance of healthy eating and so on.
Verb problem
knowledge of
Last
but not least, Parents try to develop habit
of healthy living and eating in their lives. Because children always copy what their parents do.
To Fix the agreement mistake
habits
recapitualate
, Correct your spelling
recapitulate
Sandatary
Correct article usage
a Sandatary
life style
is Correct your spelling
lifestyle
the
common problem in today's world which Correct article usage
a
agument
individuals to obesity, heart attack, Correct your spelling
argument
diabates
, Correct your spelling
diabetes
lonliness
, depression and so on. If we Correct your spelling
loneliness
sehcdule
our Correct your spelling
schedule
life
and do Fix the agreement mistake
lives
accordingly
, I think we easily tackle with
it.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by 1402randhawapreet on
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Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates some understanding of the task, but it could be more focused and develop the ideas in a more organized manner. The development of ideas lacks clarity and depth, and the coherence of the essay is weak.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are weak and lack clarity. The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and the paragraph structure is not well-organized, leading to confusion and lack of coherence.
Lexical Resource
The lexical resource is limited, with a number of inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. There is a lack of variety in vocabulary, and the register is not always suitable for an academic essay.
Grammatical Range
The essay has a number of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues, tense inconsistencies, and awkward phrasing. There is also a lack of sentence variety and complexity, which affects the overall fluency and accuracy of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.