In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and theri levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #theri #levels #health #fitness #measures

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In today's hectic world Obesity is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

major issue

facing

Wrong verb form

faced

show examples

alot

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a lot

of masses.

This

Linking Words

comes with not only health problems but

droping

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dropping

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

self confidence

Add a hyphen

self-confidence

show examples

, laziness,

lonliness

Correct your spelling

loneliness

and so on. In

this

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essay, We discover the main engenders

as well as

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furnish the solutions to alleviate it effectively. To commence with, Nowadays,

world

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the world

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become a war of success,

compition

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competition

fame

Correct word choice

and fame

show examples

. Everyone wants to become more popular. Individuals

doing

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work beyond their capacities to

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

their daily needs. Humans

converts

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convert

show examples

into machines. Owing to

this

Linking Words

, They do not acquire proper time for their diet, sleep and

fittness

Correct your spelling

fitness

For example

Linking Words

, A lady has a 9 to 5 job. She

awake

Verb problem

wakes

show examples

up in the morning to household shores,

prepare

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prepares

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their kids for school,

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goes

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office

Add an article

the office

an office

show examples

return

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returns

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back home and

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does

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

household

shores

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chores

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and

tend

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tends

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to sleep at night.

This

Linking Words

acitivity

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activity

going

repeatedely

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repeatedly

Additonally

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Additionally

, Youngsters

attract

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are attracted

show examples

more towards junk foods

instead

Linking Words

Add an article

a health

show examples

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

diet. They usually consume soft drinks, burgers , pizza etc which

is tend

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tends

show examples

them to obesity.

Moreover

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, Children spend most of their time

to play

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playing

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games on

computer

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the computer

a computer

show examples

, using mobile phones and hardly

play

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playing

show examples

any outdoor activity which keeps them healthy.

However

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There

Fix capitalization

there

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are plenty of solutions to cope with

this

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problem.

Firstly

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Government

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the Government

show examples

should

Verb problem

make

show examples

some reduction

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show examples

working hours so that people

obtain

Verb problem

have

show examples

more time

focus

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to focus

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on their

fittness

Correct your spelling

fitness

Also

Linking Words

, In the office,

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apply

show examples

twice a month organize kind of sports events which encourage employers towards games and

assit

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assist

them to become healthy.

Secondly

Linking Words

, Schools focus more on physical activities like

to play

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playing

show examples

games,

arrange

Wrong verb form

arranging

show examples

school level

compition

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competitions

every week which

helps

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help

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learners to become fit and healthy,

bring

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bringing

show examples

them to social awareness camps where they acquire

aknowable

Verb problem

knowledge of

show examples

the importance of healthy eating and so on.

Last

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but not least, Parents try to develop

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

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of healthy living and eating in their lives. Because children always copy what their parents do. To

recapitualate

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recapitulate

Sandatary

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a Sandatary

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

the

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common problem in today's world which

agument

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argument

individuals to obesity, heart attack,

diabates

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diabetes

lonliness

Correct your spelling

loneliness

, depression and so on. If we

sehcdule

Correct your spelling

schedule

our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and do

accordingly

Linking Words

, I think we easily tackle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it.

Submitted by 1402randhawapreet on Tue Nov 07 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay demonstrates some understanding of the task, but it could be more focused and develop the ideas in a more organized manner. The development of ideas lacks clarity and depth, and the coherence of the essay is weak.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are weak and lack clarity. The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and the paragraph structure is not well-organized, leading to confusion and lack of coherence.

Lexical Resource

The lexical resource is limited, with a number of inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. There is a lack of variety in vocabulary, and the register is not always suitable for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range

The essay has a number of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues, tense inconsistencies, and awkward phrasing. There is also a lack of sentence variety and complexity, which affects the overall fluency and accuracy of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
59
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

354 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
calorie-dense
processed food
junk food
unhealthy eating habits
physical inactivity
lack of exercise
sedentary lifestyle
unhealthy lifestyle
fast food consumption
advertising
stress
busy lifestyle
nutrition education
access to exercise facilities
cultural factors
government intervention
healthy lifestyle promotion
education on healthy eating
exercise facilities
taxes on unhealthy food
public exercise facilities
regulating advertising

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and theri levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Fully explain your ideas

People have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. Write about advantages and disadvantages of each view point?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1)

Many people today buy ready-made food rather than spending time cooking. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Part 2 In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main sbjects. other believe it is more important to give all their time and attendtion to studying for qualifications. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.