IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You have heard about plans to build new apartments in a public park near your home You want to give your opinion about this Write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper In your letter Explain how you learnt about these plans Say what you think of the park, give your opinions on the plans

#plans #apartments #park #home #write #editor #newspaper #learnt
Dear Sir or Madam I am writing you
this
 letter regarding the new apartments that will be built at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Central Park, and I imagine that would be a good story for your journal. A very close friend, who is one of the engineers of the construction, presented to me the initial blueprint of the project, and I could not believe it. Unfortunately, the entire space will
be vanished
Change to the active voice
vanish
have vanished
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, and
the
Correct article usage
a
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 new building will
take
Verb problem
be
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 place. In my point of view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Central Park is the most beautiful green area in our city. It is not only a place for family meetings, or to practice sports, but
also
 a home of numerous animals, and everything will be gone until the end of March/23. I believe that
this
 construction is going to be a huge mistake, and the people of our city will be in pain
with
Change preposition
at
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 the end of
this
 amazing place.
Furthermore
, there are a series of options where
this
 apartment could be constructed. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Lucas Campos
Submitted by lucasb7z on

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greeting and closing
The greeting and closing should be formal and appropriate for a letter to the editor of a newspaper.
logical structure
The logical structure of the letter needs improvement to better convey the message.
task response
The response does not fully address all aspects of the task. It should offer more detailed opinions about the plans for the new apartments and provide reasons for these opinions.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and expressions to enhance the overall lexical resource of the letter.
grammatical range
The grammatical range and accuracy could be improved, especially in sentence structure and verb tenses.
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