IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You have just moved to a new place. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter. -tell him/her you moved and why you moved -describe the new place -invite your friend to visit and suggest what to do.

#place #friend #-tell #-describe #-invite #visit
Dear Lingli, Hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
 email to notify you that I moved into my new apartment yesterday. As you know Xiaoxie and I planned to buy a new apartment since our previous flat is too small for four people to live in. My new place is still in the same district as my former one, but it is closer to Xinghai Square. There are 3 bedrooms with big windows, and we can enjoy a beautiful hill view from the window in the living room. I would like to invite you to visit my new home when you have time during the weekend. Now we have a big kitchen at home,
therefore
, we can cook together and enjoy a chit-chat bestie meal. I am looking forward to your response. I can’t wait for your visit to my new home. Yours sincerely. SJ
Submitted by shaojiedang on

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task response
Ensure to provide detailed reasons for the move and the description of the new place. Perhaps, include more specific details about the new apartment and the reasons behind the move.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is mostly sound but there is room for improvement in maintaining a single idea per paragraph. Consider separating the descriptions into distinct paragraphs to enhance clarity.
lexical resource
The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary but could benefit from adding more descriptive and expressive language to vividly depict the new place and the invitation.
grammatical range
The letter exhibits a strong command of grammatical structures, but there are a few instances where sentence structures could be varied to add more variety and sophistication to the language.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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