Despite a large number of gym a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popular in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solution can you suggest.

#gym #lifestyle #world

this

modern era, perception many

people

's lifestyles are different. In

this

essay, I will suggest some arguments that support my ideas and give some solutions that make

people

love doing any exercises, even though nowadays

people

are more likely to spend their time not doing anything. To my way of thinking, there are many reasons why several

people

think that

gym

is so boring, one of the most

reasons

Correct word choice

important reasons

show examples

people

like to spend their time with something not too important

such

as watching movies in their bedroom, playing any music they loves, scroll social media in all day and night. they forget that we need some exercise to keep our body still healthy. Their habits have negative impacts on their body health if they are doing these habits the whole time without any exercise. To solve these problems, they should be aware of their health. My suggestions are they should stop leading a sedentary lifestyle and start moving, get relaxed and do exercise or

gym

after a long day, those

people

need to try out outdoor activities.

For instance

, going to the

gym

or jogging, practising sports that they like, those sports

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

to stay fit and active. Another solution is not often do indoor activities, they can break using the internet or scrolling social media, and change by reading books, our brain needs to consume good nutrition and reading books is a good thing for increasing our knowledge. In conclusion, stopping a sedentary life is extremely crucial, and going to the

gym

is an excellent solution.

Therefore

, the government should to available outdoor facilities so those

people

can start to do some workouts.

Submitted by arniaqlina44 on Sat Aug 24 2024

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task achievement

Try to use more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. This can help illustrate your points more effectively and make your writing more engaging.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. There are several awkward phrases and grammatical errors that could be improved for clarity.

coherence cohesion

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your essay well.

task achievement

You have addressed both parts of the task—discussing problems associated with a sedentary lifestyle and suggesting solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Despite a large number of gym a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popular in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solution can you suggest.

Fully explain your ideas

"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

We should return to traditional and older values of respect for family and community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a number of countries around the world, income inequality is a growing issue. What are the causes of income inequality and how it can be dealt with?