Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Over the past few years,the issue of

children

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's free time has been widely debated.

However

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, some

parents

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think

children

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should spend more time on academics because

that is

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very important for their future.In my opinion, outdoor activities are more crucial to them as I will discuss both sides in the following essay. There is no doubt that studying in lectures is important

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because

that is

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one of the basic responsibilities of students.

For example

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, in Taiwan,there is an obligate education policy which means it is compulsory for citizens to abide for 12 years of education from elementary school to high school.

Moreover

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,Some students have to go to cram school after class ,

this

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can put

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high pressure on students for their study performance.

Furthermore

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,learning knowledge and skills is vital at a young age,because education can be a factor in future development,and is highly correlated with future success in the eyes of some

parents

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On the other hand

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,some

parents

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think exercise is always the priority for their

children

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due to

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teenagers growing up very fast in

this

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time period,it is called a” golden time”.

After

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this

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period, it becomes challenging to influence the physical growth of

children

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that is

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the reason why

parents

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should put more emphasis on their health.

This

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includes nutrition, body flexibility, and mental well-being, especially since

children

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may not cope well with excessive academic pressure. In conclusion,studying hard in academics and doing outdoor activities are two essential factors and should not be ignored when

children

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are growing up,provided

parents

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can give more balance on both sides, it could be beneficial to their

children

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stellachen28577Sun Feb 25 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Organise your ideas more clearly and use paragraphs to separate different points. A clear introductory sentence for each paragraph could enhance understanding.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make your introduction and conclusion more distinct by clearly stating your viewpoint in the introduction and summarizing it in the conclusion.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. Examples make your points more convincing and add depth to your essay.

Task Achievement

Try to balance the number of ideas and the development of each idea more evenly across your essay. While it's good to discuss multiple perspectives, ensure each is thoroughly explored.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Development
Concentration
Obesity
Burnout
Sedentary lifestyle
Healthy lifestyle
Intellectual development
Structured activities
Teamwork
Leadership
Sedentary behavior
Tech addiction
Role models
Family bonds

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Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty.

Most schools in Vietnam, nowadays, put more weight on ”teach to the test” lessons rather than experiential lessons so that students can easily enter their dreaming universities with flying colors. Do you think it is a good trend