IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbours #cities
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Neighbourhoods play an important role in leading to peaceful lives.
However
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, there is a common problem nowadays that a multitude of individuals do not know their
neighbours
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 in large urban areas. I believe that
this
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 issue centres around the lack of time and personality. Variety in awareness can minimize
this
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 concept. The primary reason behind
this
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 could be the busyness of the workplace. In
this
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 state-of-the-art era, society always re-new in order to catch up with the flow of industrialization which led to the overload in many businesses and companies.
In addition
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,
this
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 phenomenon caused a number of
residents
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 who become too exhausted to speak with their
neighbours
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.
For example
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, Japan is known for its modernisation but they have no idea about marriage or going out with their
neighbours
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. Another vital point to consider is their personalities. Some people find communicating with their
neighbours
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 is time-wasting.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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 the increase in mental health problems, some
residents
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 feel uncomfortable speaking with strangers. There
is
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are
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 a number of solutions for authorities and
residents
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 to reduce its impact
such
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 as organizing some events in cities or districts which open more opportunities for individuals to join in in order to know their
neighbours
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 like cleaning, food festivals and music festivals.
Moreover
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, improve the relationships by giving presents or creating some small parties.
To sum up
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, there
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are
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many points which lead to the variety in the ways people communicate with other individuals and
this
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 view can be minimised if there a multiple opportunities for
residents
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 to open their hearts.
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task response
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing the problem of not knowing neighbours in large cities and proposing some solutions. However, the ideas presented lack depth and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay follows a general structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some ideas lack connection and development, leading to a lack of coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some words are used incorrectly, leading to imprecision and confusion.
grammatical range
The essay contains a variety of sentence structures and tenses, but there are several grammatical errors and inconsistencies.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
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