Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career while others believe that it’s better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

There is a ubiquitous societal belief that in order for individuals to achieve
success
in life, they must obtain a degree in higher
education
.
This
has enticed a heated debate amongst people, where some withhold
this
stereotype,
while
others argue that
success
is solely dependent on the individual's
ambition
and determination to excel.
This
essay assesses
both
viewpoints and explains why I stand at a cross-section when it comes to
this
topic. On the one hand, the majority of people associate
success
with
education
, as they assume that a college degree is required for
success
.
This
is
due to
the fact that university curriculums provide the attendees with knowledge about the work field,
as well as
, focus on providing training to the students to assist them in developing personal and professional skills that are essential for working.
For instance
, medical students gain knowledge about various illnesses and treatment plans
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
studying how different body systems operate.
In addition
, they are trained to develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills that will aid them in making a diagnosis.
This
shows that a college qualification is crucial to get and excel at certain professions.
On the other hand
, many people are firm believers that achieving
success
is related to the person's
ambition
, commitment, and intelligence. An epitome that depicts
this
is the renowned Apple founder, Steve Jobs, who was a high school dropout.
Although
Jobs didn't pursue higher
education
, he made a remarkable achievement in the technology field, as his company's products are one of the most popular across the globe.
This
signifies that a driven person can achieve
success
regardless of their educational background. I personally believe that
both
ambition
and qualification are equally important, and a combination of
both
can enable individuals to shine and accomplish their goals. In conclusion,
while
some suppose that a college degree is key to
success
, others think that it is a reflection of the individual's
ambition
. I advocate
to strike
Change the verb form
striking
show examples
a balance between
both
viewpoints by appreciating the value of higher
education
when supported with
ambition
.
Submitted by nareesakbar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider refining your paragraph transitions to create a smoother flow of ideas. For example, using transition phrases such as 'however,' 'in contrast,' or 'additionally,' can help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
While the essay generally provides clear ideas and relevant examples, for a band 9 score, you might include even more specific examples or statistical data that can provide stronger support to your arguments. This depth could make your points even more convincing.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced view of both sides of the argument, making it comprehensive and well-structured. Your introduction and conclusion are effective in framing the essay.
task achievement
Main points are clearly supported with relevant examples, like the mention of Steve Jobs, which adds credibility to your argument and makes it more engaging for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and organization are strong, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point, which enhances readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialized knowledge
  • qualifications
  • professional careers
  • higher salaries
  • personal development
  • critical thinking
  • job opportunities
  • financial independence
  • hands-on experience
  • student debt
  • vocational training programs
  • apprenticeships
  • tertiary education
  • on-the-job training
  • career goals
  • financial burden
  • practical experience
  • trades and technical careers
  • individual circumstances
  • fulfilling careers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: