Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career while others believe that it’s better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #university #college #route #career #it’s #job #school

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There is a ubiquitous societal belief that in order for individuals to achieve

success

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in life, they must obtain a degree in higher

education

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This

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has enticed a heated debate amongst people, where some withhold

this

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stereotype,

while

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others argue that

success

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is solely dependent on the individual's

ambition

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and determination to excel.

This

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essay assesses

both

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viewpoints and explains why I stand at a cross-section when it comes to

this

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topic. On the one hand, the majority of people associate

success

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with

education

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, as they assume that a college degree is required for

success

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This

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due to

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the fact that university curriculums provide the attendees with knowledge about the work field,

as well as

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, focus on providing training to the students to assist them in developing personal and professional skills that are essential for working.

For instance

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, medical students gain knowledge about various illnesses and treatment plans

through

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show examples

studying how different body systems operate.

In addition

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, they are trained to develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills that will aid them in making a diagnosis.

This

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shows that a college qualification is crucial to get and excel at certain professions.

On the other hand

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, many people are firm believers that achieving

success

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is related to the person's

ambition

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, commitment, and intelligence. An epitome that depicts

this

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is the renowned Apple founder, Steve Jobs, who was a high school dropout.

Although

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Jobs didn't pursue higher

education

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, he made a remarkable achievement in the technology field, as his company's products are one of the most popular across the globe.

This

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signifies that a driven person can achieve

success

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regardless of their educational background. I personally believe that

both

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ambition

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and qualification are equally important, and a combination of

both

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can enable individuals to shine and accomplish their goals. In conclusion,

while

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some suppose that a college degree is key to

success

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, others think that it is a reflection of the individual's

ambition

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. I advocate

to strike

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striking

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a balance between

both

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viewpoints by appreciating the value of higher

education

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when supported with

ambition

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Submitted by nareesakbar on Fri Sep 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider refining your paragraph transitions to create a smoother flow of ideas. For example, using transition phrases such as 'however,' 'in contrast,' or 'additionally,' can help readers follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

While the essay generally provides clear ideas and relevant examples, for a band 9 score, you might include even more specific examples or statistical data that can provide stronger support to your arguments. This depth could make your points even more convincing.

task achievement

The essay offers a balanced view of both sides of the argument, making it comprehensive and well-structured. Your introduction and conclusion are effective in framing the essay.

task achievement

Main points are clearly supported with relevant examples, like the mention of Steve Jobs, which adds credibility to your argument and makes it more engaging for the reader.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure and organization are strong, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point, which enhances readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

341 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

specialized knowledge
qualifications
professional careers
higher salaries
personal development
critical thinking
job opportunities
financial independence
hands-on experience
student debt
vocational training programs
apprenticeships
tertiary education
on-the-job training
career goals
financial burden
practical experience
trades and technical careers
individual circumstances
fulfilling careers

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career while others believe that it’s better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In any situation, progress requires discussion among people who have contrasting points of view.

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?