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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

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In many parts of the world,
students
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 in primary and secondary schools have summer
holidays
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 that
last
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 for two months or more.
While
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 these long breaks offer several benefits, some people argue that shorter
holidays
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 would be more practical.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion. On the one hand, long
school
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holidays
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 provide
students
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 with valuable opportunities to spend
time
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 with their
families
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. During
this
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 period, many
families
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 travel to visit relatives,
such
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 as grandparents, especially those who live far away.
This
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 allows
students
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 to strengthen family relationships and experience a different lifestyle outside the city.
In addition
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, long
school
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holidays
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 give
students
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 a chance to develop new skills by taking part in extracurricular activities,
such
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 as cooking or music classes. Without the pressure of schoolwork, they can focus more
in
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on
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 their interests, improve their abilities, and even gain a better understanding of their future goals.
On the other hand
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, there are several arguments in favour of shorter
school
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holidays
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. One major concern is the increased financial burden on
families
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, particularly those in which parents work. In
such
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 cases, parents often need to pay for childcare services, which can be expensive over a long period.
Furthermore
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, some
students
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 may not use their
time
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 productively during
extented
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extended
school
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holidays
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.
Instead
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 of engaging in meaningful activities, they may spend excessive
time
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 playing games and being inactive at home
,
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.
show examples
As a result
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, some people believe that staying in
school
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 would be more beneficial for
students
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’ development. In conclusion,
although
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 long
school
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holidays
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 may create financial challenges and may not always be used effectively, I believe they are valuable because they allow
students
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 to spend quality
time
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 with their
families
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 and develop important life skills. These experiences can contribute positively to their personal growth and future development.

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task response
For task response, add one more clear idea on each side to make your answer more full.
task response
For task response, explain your examples a bit more so the reader can see why they matter.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check small word errors like 'focus more in' and 'extented' because they can slow the reader.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link some ideas more smoothly with simple words like 'also', 'because', and 'so'.
task response
For task response, you answer both questions and give your opinion clearly.
task response
For task response, your examples about family time, new skills, and childcare are relevant.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea and this helps the essay flow well.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
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