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Writing Samples /
Band 4

consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

#consumers #numbers #advertisements #companies #measures
Owing to modernization, the rapid race to
succesed
Correct your spelling
succeed
success
 has led to
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of
advertisements
 and promotion campaigns, highlighting their products and making
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 stand out from
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the
compitators
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competitors
. Since
,
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apply
show examples
 Individuals go through
such
 campaigns on
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
show examples
 basis there are umpteen chances of consumers getting involved and influenced. The severity of influencing and
number
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a number
the number
show examples
 of measures to deal with
this
 are stated in
following
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the following
show examples
 discussion. To commence, the
advertisements
 can easily influence a buyer not only into trying the
noval
Correct your spelling
novel
 products or experiences but
also
gluing
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glueing
show examples
 people to their items
on
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in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run. Adding to it, correct strategies for marketing can boost a product's
sale
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sales
show examples
 to a greater extent.
Moreover
, advertisers and marketing agencies are using quirky and fancy ways to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers, and it is paying off the hard work. To exemplify, history has seen a great case of a company influencing customers
as well as
 making them try the product, soft drink giant Redbull, managed to catch
attention
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the attention
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 of citizens just by stuffing trash cans and roads with empty
redbull
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Redbull
show examples
 cans in their struggling days. On the other side, in recent times it is
utmost
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of utmost
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important
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importance
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 to not neglect negative marketing which can influence kids
as well as
grown ups
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grown-ups
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 into doing horrifying things.
Cure
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A cure
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 to
this
 can be noticed by forming
a
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an
show examples
 honest
commitee
Correct your spelling
committee
 of individuals which regulates the frequency and content of the
advertisements
.
Moreover
, an education on
such
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
 can help curb the effects of some marketing stunts with demerits.
However
, a greater solution to
this
 issue can be found by mitigating the
compitation
Correct your spelling
competition
 at
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 level
what-so-ever
Correct your spelling
whatsoever
show examples
, upshifting the focus of sales even on
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 level.
To conclude
, there are myriad events suggesting that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans are greatly influenced by
advertisements
,
hence
 measures like forming a regulatory institution or educating
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 will help to curb
such
 matters.
Submitted by vedantsinh.gohil.2710 on

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Task Achievement
The essay does not fully address all aspects of the task. The response is partially relevant and contains some off-topic information.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is weak as it lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present, but there is a lack of coherence and cohesion within and between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The range of vocabulary is limited, resulting in repetitive use of words and lack of precision. There is also a lack of variety in sentence structures, leading to a monotonous presentation.
Grammatical Range
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, including tense inconsistencies, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper sentence structures. The lack of grammatical accuracy affects the overall clarity of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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