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Writing Samples
Band 7

thr table and the charts below give information the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in a one area of britian. the table shows where the money vame from and the chart shows how it was distributed

thr table and the charts below give information the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in a one area of britian. the table shows where the money vame from and the chart shows how it was distributed
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The given table illustrates the different sources which provided the
police
Use synonyms
fund
Use synonyms
 in one region of Britain in both 2017 and 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts compare in which fields
this
Linking Words
fund
Use synonyms
 was spent.
Overall
Linking Words
, the national government provided the biggest amount of the
police
Use synonyms
 budget in both years and the largest proportion of the money spent on the worker's
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, the money which all sources allocated to the
police
Use synonyms
 centre increased from 2017 to 2018. So, the total budget for 2018 experienced a noticeable rise from 304.7 to 318.6 million
pounds
Use synonyms
. In total, the government provided the biggest
fund
Use synonyms
 for
police
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 local taxes ranked as the second supporter. Less than 40 million
pounds
Use synonyms
 were received from other sources in both years (38
m
Correct your spelling
million
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2017 and 38.5
m
Correct your spelling
million
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2018). As the pie charts show, the largest percentage of money was spent on salaries but it decreased from 75% in 2017 to 69% in 2018. More than 15% (17%) of the
fund
Use synonyms
 paid for buildings and transportation in 2017 and
this
Linking Words
 amount remained constant in 2018. The expenditure for technology rose about 6% during these two years (8% in 2017 and 14% in 2018).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words police, fund, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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