IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone
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Arguments appear between
people
 who believe that learning a foreign
language
 is only for travelling or working abroad purposes,
whereas
, others believe there are many
reasons
 for studying a foreign
language
. I strongly agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, a number of
people
 believe there are many
reasons
 for learning a foreign
language
 which is beneficial to the individuals.
Firstly
,
people
 can easily adapt to the environment by learning from a foreign country, especially in the globalization era.
Secondly
, it can be beneficial for looking some local jobs because, nowadays, foreign
language
 skills are highly considered for candidates in the local job industry.
For example
, I experienced a better possibility of acceptance in looking for local jobs in my country after graduating, compared with my other friends who have fewer skills in foreign languages.
On the other hand
, some folks appear to argue that travelling and working abroad can be the only
reasons
 for
people
 to study a foreign
language
. It is understandable that both indicators are vital
reasons
 for someone to learn a foreign
language
.
However
, I don’t find
this
 argument convincing because, nowadays, the ability to have a knowledge of a foreign
language
 is considered a basic skill of modern
people
 to easily adapt to globalization.
To conclude
, in my view, there are sensible
reasons
 why we should learn a
language
.
Moreover
, in a world of communications, it would be very illogical to see only a few
reasons
 for learning a
language
.
Submitted by muhammad.alfarasyi on

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task response
While the essay adequately addresses the question, there's room for more depth. Consider adding additional points or elaborating further to enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of the essay are good, with a clear logical structure. However, it may benefit from smoother transitions between some points. Try using more linking phrases to improve the flow.
supporting main points
Add more relevant examples to support your arguments. Although you provided one personal example, inclusion of more varied examples would strengthen your essay.
introduction
The introduction is clear and concise, setting up the discussion effectively.
logical structure
The main points are logically structured, and each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the discussion.
conclusion present
The essay concludes with a strong opinion, reinforcing the writer's stance and summarizing the key points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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