Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #music #cultures #ages

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There has been a consensus among a number of the public that

music

Use synonyms

can gather

people

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, despite diversity in culture or age.

Although

Linking Words

all kind of

music

Use synonyms

is not desirable for all generations, I think we always can find a piece of

music

Use synonyms

that we all enjoy, because

music

Use synonyms

is a universal

language

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

it can lead to greater social boundings and provide joy for all.

Music

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can bring us all together and everyone can understand it, no matter what your first

language

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is. There are

numrous

Correct your spelling

numerous

music

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tracks that make other

people

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joyful. we do not need to know any

language

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to understand

music

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. Take Yasano Kitaro

for example

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, he is one of the most famous musicians in China

while

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he never learned formal and official

form

Fix the agreement mistake

forms

show examples

music

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but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

he could play the guitar at the precautions age of 6 and at the age of 10 he

exhibit

Wrong verb form

exhibited

show examples

a concert at New York City to

people

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whom their

language

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was totally different with him.

While

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always

music

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was enjoyable, it can grow our social life too.

For instance

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last

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year I attended one of Alireza Ghorbani's concerts and during that

concert

Add a comma

concert,

show examples

I made two good friends, and now I

am seeing

Wrong verb form

see

show examples

them on a regular basis. I think

this

Linking Words

friendship grew because I saw

people

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with similar tastes and

personlity

Correct your spelling

personality

to me and

that is

Linking Words

great.

In contrast

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, all kind of

music

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is suitable for all

people

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. Kids in their

adulesin

Correct your spelling

adolescent

period seek hard Rock

while

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in the meantime elderly generation seeks more calming and

slow paced

Add a hyphen

slow-paced

show examples

music

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. For

illustration

Add a comma

illustration,

show examples

I can mention myself and my grandmother i like Pop

music

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and she listens to Iranian traditional

music

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To conclude

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, there is a saying that

music

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can provide social bonding, despite some details I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

Submitted by anayasinwriting on Wed Nov 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are somewhat hasty and lacking in depth. The essay would benefit from a more thorough introduction and conclusion that clearly outline the writer's position and main points.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments. However, the response could be more comprehensive and offer a more balanced consideration of both sides of the argument.

lexical resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of inaccurate word choices and awkward phrasing. There is a need for more precise and varied vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.

grammatical range

There are frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and agreement. The essay would benefit from more varied and complex sentence structures, and greater control of grammar and punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Nowadays people are trying to have a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems could this create? How can people overcome them?

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others believe children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.